Reflecions on my Birthday

So today is my birthday.
I'm 24 years old.
What have I done thus far with my life?

FUCKING ENJOYED IT!!! >>>:)

I mean, let's be real here. I could bitch about a lot of things. I could bitch about bad decisions I've made, places I should've went, things I should've done, girls I should've fucked, changes I should've made, questions I should've asked, and so on and so forth.

But why?

Why when I can talk about the great decisions I've made, the places I've been, the things I've done, the girls I fucked, the changes I made, the answers to the questions I did ask, and so on and such and etc. and shit.

Like I have two self made music albums. That's two more than most people. WIN.
I have one self made eBook. That's one more than most people. WIN.

Every little thing that I've done has made me who I am today.

And I fucking love who I am today. I have great friends. I write great stories. I have great adventures...

All in all, on a smaller scale, I'm fucking great.

So, with that said, I am simply going to continue to be great. Not much reflection here... to know where you've going, you gotta know where you've been, but at the same time, you can't dwell on the past, especially the bad parts. Live, learn, love.

Onward to the future!

2011

This year... man, it's been soooo good to me. Right off the bat, really.

Like, in January, I was introduced to the concept of "Winning." Jacko started it. No. Really. He did. One day he decided that "They don't win. I win." Then Charlie Sheen blew it up. Me? I'm still embracing it. Can't tell? Just look up.

March showed the fruits of the mindset, especially on March 29th. That day, I went out on a mission to get a job and I got hired, just like I said I would. Granted, I didn't start working until June, but it's okay, because in April and May, I was granted with many an opportunity that I probably would have otherwise missed out on had I been working. I started this blog, explored different hobbies, went to a poetry reading, hung out with great friends old and new, and... well, won.

June comes and I finally start working. The job, in and of itself, is ass, but with it came cash, and therefore the opening up of brand new opportunities, such as an improved expereince at the Impact Wrestling (TNA) house show, a trip to Atlantic City, a walk through the celebrity subspace know as Madame Tussaint's wax museum (yes, yes, all of these are still lost adventures that I never posted... call me lazy), and even a couple of very capable visits to Philly.

That's not to say that work has been all bad. I've met a few good people there, even a few that I would go as far as considering "friends." (We'll see how far that actually goes). I'm also physically stronger now due to work than I've been in years. It also inspired me (or frustrated me enough) to go head-first into NaNoWriMo and start up a novel that's far from finished. It reminded me of why I love writing so much... the sheer adventure that I can create just by turning sentences into paragraphs, paragraphs into pages, pages into Chapter... etc... it's an amazing feeling that I'm glad I got back in touch with.

December didn't really provide much... exept the concept of Christmas shopping. It was the first time I went Christmas shopping for more than two people, and it was an interesting experience. I found out that while I suck at wrapping gifts, I am pretty good at giving gifts. And seeing the smiles on their faces when the recipents received their gifts... priceless.

So all in all, 2011 was a phenomenal year for me. There were a few frustrations here and there, but for the most part, the year was awesome, epic, and full of win.

And that, I saw so long to 2011, and hello to 2012! I'm not worried about an asteroid destroying the planet o the planet imploding upon itself so much as I am worried about some idiot accidentally hitting the "Nuke Every Continent Simultaneously" button. If the world comes to an end, it'll be because of us humans. But I really ain't all that worried about it. We'll be find. World's gonna end on some random year, like 56883 or something...

So cheers to another year of fun and jokes, epicness and awesomeness, friends and family, love and positivity, wins and success!

NaNoWriMo Reflections

So NaNoWriMo's over, and I finished with a solid 50,072 words at 8:30 pm on Wednesday, November 30th. Awesome.

This was my second attempt at NaNoWriMo. I believe that I mentioned somewhere that I failed miserably last year, but this year was amazingly successful. It was an amazing experience. That said, it's totally possible that I will never do NaNoWriMo again.

You see, I think the concept of NaNoWriMo is to get people to write when they can't write or won't write or something like that. Generally, I don't have much of a problem writing, so long as I'm interested in the material that I'm writing about. The Marko Man series has seen hundreds of stories, thousands of chapters, and billions of words because it's subject matter that I care about. And then there were non-Marko Man stories that were started and never finished because somewhere along the line, I stopped giving a shit. And ultimately, I have no regrets when it comes to not finishing a story that I didn't care for because if I didn't give much of a shit to write it, then readers probably would have given less of a shit to read it. Hell, half of the time, the things that I do write and put care into it doesn't get read because it's too long or what have you. So... yeah.

Still, this was a great experience. It is something that I should do again, provided I have the inspiration in terms of the story to write, but just like with this piece, in no way will I be limiting the story to just 50,000 words (unless that's the best length for it). The worst part, though, had to have been the end. Within the last 5 days, I had 25,000 words to go, and man did I have to pump out some shit to reach the goal. I was pretty much coercing myself to write more than I naturally wanted to do, which is something else. I think during the third day of that five day rush, my brain felt like it was sizzling after a given writing session. Pushing 2000 or 3000 words furiously, and then being done with it like, "whoa... crazy."

But then again, the best part of this thing was the last 5 days as well, specifically that Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday that I had off... I had pretty much isolated myself from the rest of the world to sit down in front of my computer and create my own world (not to mention have breaks from this created world that I was working on and playing video games and watching awesome videos). When I came back to the real world that Wednesday for work, I felt sooo refreshed. Even when I went to work yesterday, I was feeling much, much better than usual.

So yeah... NaNoWriMo? Great experience, like I already said. I may or may not do it again... me not doing it ever again in life wouldn't exactly ruin my life, but I have to say, NaNoWriMo reminded me of how much I love writing fiction, regardless of whether my stories count as "literature" or not. Sure, I've been writing a lot. Between this blog, poetry, the wrestling editioral column that I do on TNAStars.com, and the walls of text that I throw down on FaceBook (and Shoryuken.com during blue moons), I haven't missed a word. I even wrote a few (relatively insignificant) short stories somewhere in between when I was going through this phase of needing some kind of validation for my work by trying to submit "literature" (aka shit not in my style) to random publications and stuff. But the last time I wrote a fictional story of length? Well, I went through my notes on FaceBook, apparently, the last word of Marko Man's Untitled Internet Finale was July 18th, 2010. That was more than a year ago. Quite a hiatus from novel writing (I mean, the UIF may not have started off as a novel, but it sure as fuck turned into one, so yeah). So this... this was kinda like a return to my roots... and boy did it feel good to return to those roots while exploring something slightly different from what I'm used to writing.

What's interesting though, however, is how I'm now reconsidering that decision to make Marko Man a web comic series. Writing... it feels so good and so natural to me... it's the one thing that I know for a fact I can do well under a given circumstance. It's the one thing that I know is mine as a talent (or maybe a very, very, very refined skill), and it's the one thing I love doing at any given moment. You take my video games away from me, and I'm fine as long as I can write.

That said... well... I don't really know how to end this.

"But Mark, didn't you just talk about how writing is your first love and how it comes natural to you?"

Yes. Yes, I did.

Vision

Guess I don't have style.
I mean, I see my reflection,
And I see greatness,
But maybe it's just my glasses.

I'm just another number to the government.
Just another person to the people.
Just another employee to management.
Just another guy to women.

And yet, when I look and I see,
I see so much more.
Not just in me, but in you.
But in everything. The world.

I see glorious things,
But they don't exist in theory,
For the reality is,
Everything is just something.

Nothing is as special
As we make it out to be.
Unless it actually is,
Even when it's not.

But my vision sees things
From odd angles and perspectives,
And it's not quite a mirage.
No. Just.... different.

It can be pointed out.
I could actually show you,
Not even an illusion.
You can see it with the naked eye.

But if you don't want to see it,
Then it can never exist.
No matter how much I tell you,
Existence is futile.

So my visions are never seen,
My point of view never imagined.
And I am forever left alone,
Sitting next to my reflection.