With NaNoWriMo a success, what's next?
A few things...
I'll try to resume writing my book by December 9th. Try. I will definitely continue to write the book as it is a part of the series and it has a good running start, but there are some things I need to take care of at home.
Also, I briefly reactivated my FaceBook (only to deactivate it again) so that I could download all of my data and search for poems. From that search, I will be compiling what I personally feel are my very best poems, and I will try to get them self-published sometime next year in multiple formats.
The poetry book will essentially be the testing grounds for "Marko Man: The Untitled Internet Finale Deluxe," which is supposed to be the 17 chapters of the UIF plus a few extra stories that I've written for the Internet as bonus content. This, I also would like to publish in multiple formats.
Also, I have a few friends that seem to have a few writing projects that are just small nagging ideas in their minds that I would love to help them unlock. Basically, my book of poetry will the experiment to see what I can and can not do with self-publishing, and from there, I'll do UIFDX, help people with what they may want to do if they so choose to invest time in their works, and if the Marko Man series never gets picked up when it's all done and finished and sculpted to what I could call its optimum form, I can self-publish that.
For this blog, I have a smartphone with a Blogger App (amongst other apps) and a slide out keyboard (so I don't have to type with a touch screen. YES!). This means that between trips to work and back, I should be able to publish many a draft that I haven't gotten around to publish. I haven't seen my drafts in a while, so exactly what's there isn't exactly known off the top of my head right now. What I do know is that there could be a minor resurgence in this blog, especially since I can even do blogs about what I'm feeling at the moment on my phone.
And of course, I need to leave my current job at OTG Management. Or get something better within those walls. I'm exploring options right now, indeed.
Lots of things going on somewhat. This is why I needed to deactivate my FaceBook. Otherwise, I'd just be on FaceBook... it does that to me for some reason... but at least I'm not experiencing withdrawal symptoms.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
December 4, 2012
October 3, 2012
I Noticed that This Blog has Changed...
You have to understand... when I started this blog, I was in a totally different mindset then compared to what I am now. Still the same person, in general, but my mind and how it works and what it's focused on is way different.
And like, I find myself with not much time to do the detailed writings about things that I kinda sorta care about. Like, I remember last year, I was doing posts on E3, the NBA, and a whole bunch of other shit that caught my mind. I had song of the day, video of the day, The Adventures of Mark Wins, and maybe even other blog features that I hardly even remember anymore. It's all because my mind is in a different place these days...
Like, a lot of the things that media talks about these days simply doesn't interest me. I've also lost interest in many things that I used to care for in place of giving more focus to more important things. Like, for example, most of my personal opinions on shit has disappeared, and a whole lot more poetry has occupied this blog. Poetry is something I've been focusing on a whole lot more.
And I'm also getting Marko Man started. It's taking forever for me to actually get it going, and I actually had to stop and start over the series (well, I didn't restart it yet) in favor of "non-canon" stories that I find way more epic and entertaining than what I was writing. I actually have a few more stories that I want to write before I even bother starting the series back up again... and three fights will end up here on this blog. And I'll start up the series in November for another attack at NaNoWriMo. The difference this time will be that the 50,000 words will catapult me into the crux of the first book. I get the feeling that the first book is going to be long because I've decided to raise up on a few restriction that I imposed on myself... we'll see what happens.
Additionally, and perhaps most importantly, regardless of the sloth like progress, I need another fucking job. I want something that I can either make a career out of, or something that will give me the opportunity towards a career... you know, something with either growth potential or more money to work towards something else... I dunno yet, but I know for a fact that I need to stop washing dishes for assholes.
So yeah. I don't really have time to focus on other things. I've even cut down on my video game play somewhat... like, it's not a lot, but it's a considerable amount, enough of an amount such that if you lived with me and were paying attention, you'd definitely notice. I guess you could say I'm trying to start growing up, but that process (finally) started in 2009 (and I ain't ashamed to admit it either), and it's simply hitting a new level with a few bumps in the road and shit.
So for anyone who followed the blog in hopes of me continuing to talk about select events of the world and seeing my videos and songs for the day, I apologize. Thing is, I still watch videos and listen to music, so for those things, it's not much more than actually putting out an effort to try and go with it. And I still go on Adventures, I just don't give myself time to write about them. Like, when I went on staycation in September, I biked all around Manhattan and Brooklyn, NY.
And not a single word was typed about it on this blog.
So if I'm losing followers over this, and I'm pretty sure I am, because that whole 4chan vs. 9gag post gave me an insane amount of steam, it's whatever. I like it's evolution. And of course I would. And I'm glad I didn't monetize this blog, because then I'd find myself with extra pressure to give a fuck. But without any monetizing, no fucks shall be given.
At this point, it's your choice to follow the blog or not. Make a wise decision... stick around only if you like my work. And if you don't... peace.
And like, I find myself with not much time to do the detailed writings about things that I kinda sorta care about. Like, I remember last year, I was doing posts on E3, the NBA, and a whole bunch of other shit that caught my mind. I had song of the day, video of the day, The Adventures of Mark Wins, and maybe even other blog features that I hardly even remember anymore. It's all because my mind is in a different place these days...
Like, a lot of the things that media talks about these days simply doesn't interest me. I've also lost interest in many things that I used to care for in place of giving more focus to more important things. Like, for example, most of my personal opinions on shit has disappeared, and a whole lot more poetry has occupied this blog. Poetry is something I've been focusing on a whole lot more.
And I'm also getting Marko Man started. It's taking forever for me to actually get it going, and I actually had to stop and start over the series (well, I didn't restart it yet) in favor of "non-canon" stories that I find way more epic and entertaining than what I was writing. I actually have a few more stories that I want to write before I even bother starting the series back up again... and three fights will end up here on this blog. And I'll start up the series in November for another attack at NaNoWriMo. The difference this time will be that the 50,000 words will catapult me into the crux of the first book. I get the feeling that the first book is going to be long because I've decided to raise up on a few restriction that I imposed on myself... we'll see what happens.
Additionally, and perhaps most importantly, regardless of the sloth like progress, I need another fucking job. I want something that I can either make a career out of, or something that will give me the opportunity towards a career... you know, something with either growth potential or more money to work towards something else... I dunno yet, but I know for a fact that I need to stop washing dishes for assholes.
So yeah. I don't really have time to focus on other things. I've even cut down on my video game play somewhat... like, it's not a lot, but it's a considerable amount, enough of an amount such that if you lived with me and were paying attention, you'd definitely notice. I guess you could say I'm trying to start growing up, but that process (finally) started in 2009 (and I ain't ashamed to admit it either), and it's simply hitting a new level with a few bumps in the road and shit.
So for anyone who followed the blog in hopes of me continuing to talk about select events of the world and seeing my videos and songs for the day, I apologize. Thing is, I still watch videos and listen to music, so for those things, it's not much more than actually putting out an effort to try and go with it. And I still go on Adventures, I just don't give myself time to write about them. Like, when I went on staycation in September, I biked all around Manhattan and Brooklyn, NY.
And not a single word was typed about it on this blog.
So if I'm losing followers over this, and I'm pretty sure I am, because that whole 4chan vs. 9gag post gave me an insane amount of steam, it's whatever. I like it's evolution. And of course I would. And I'm glad I didn't monetize this blog, because then I'd find myself with extra pressure to give a fuck. But without any monetizing, no fucks shall be given.
At this point, it's your choice to follow the blog or not. Make a wise decision... stick around only if you like my work. And if you don't... peace.
March 28, 2012
Wanna Race?
Navigating the straightaways are easy.
It's how you navigate the turns that determine whether you'll win the race.
The a metaphor, by the way. But it definitely applies to every racing game ever as well. ^_^
It's how you navigate the turns that determine whether you'll win the race.
The a metaphor, by the way. But it definitely applies to every racing game ever as well. ^_^
March 8, 2012
Reflecions on my Birthday
So today is my birthday.
I'm 24 years old.
What have I done thus far with my life?
FUCKING ENJOYED IT!!! >>>:)
I mean, let's be real here. I could bitch about a lot of things. I could bitch about bad decisions I've made, places I should've went, things I should've done, girls I should've fucked, changes I should've made, questions I should've asked, and so on and so forth.
But why?
Why when I can talk about the great decisions I've made, the places I've been, the things I've done, the girls I fucked, the changes I made, the answers to the questions I did ask, and so on and such and etc. and shit.
Like I have two self made music albums. That's two more than most people. WIN.
I have one self made eBook. That's one more than most people. WIN.
Every little thing that I've done has made me who I am today.
And I fucking love who I am today. I have great friends. I write great stories. I have great adventures...
All in all, on a smaller scale, I'm fucking great.
So, with that said, I am simply going to continue to be great. Not much reflection here... to know where you've going, you gotta know where you've been, but at the same time, you can't dwell on the past, especially the bad parts. Live, learn, love.
Onward to the future!
I'm 24 years old.
What have I done thus far with my life?
FUCKING ENJOYED IT!!! >>>:)
I mean, let's be real here. I could bitch about a lot of things. I could bitch about bad decisions I've made, places I should've went, things I should've done, girls I should've fucked, changes I should've made, questions I should've asked, and so on and so forth.
But why?
Why when I can talk about the great decisions I've made, the places I've been, the things I've done, the girls I fucked, the changes I made, the answers to the questions I did ask, and so on and such and etc. and shit.
Like I have two self made music albums. That's two more than most people. WIN.
I have one self made eBook. That's one more than most people. WIN.
Every little thing that I've done has made me who I am today.
And I fucking love who I am today. I have great friends. I write great stories. I have great adventures...
All in all, on a smaller scale, I'm fucking great.
So, with that said, I am simply going to continue to be great. Not much reflection here... to know where you've going, you gotta know where you've been, but at the same time, you can't dwell on the past, especially the bad parts. Live, learn, love.
Onward to the future!
December 12, 2011
50 Questions That Can Help Free Your Mind
I jacked these questions from here, so if you want to answer them without seeing my answers, then you click either that link or this link. There's no difference, they all go to the same webpage.
Below are my answers to these questions....
I'd say somewhere between 18 and 21. I'm a go with 20.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
My experiences have proven to me that never trying is much worse than failing because if you never try, then it's an auto-fail, and you don't learn that first hand experience that the fail was going to teach you.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
We do so many things that we don't like because that's the way life has been set up for the most part, where we work, we pay bills, and do a bunch of things that we simply don't like doing due to its necessity. We like so many things that we don't do because either it was actually done once and sure enough, it was fun, but since it's not a necessity to life, we don't get to do it enough, or it gives off the perception of being something that we like, but since we never tried it, we don't know for sure if we like it or not.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
At this rate, it's about equal... there are things I said that I'd do and haven't done yet, and there are things that I didn't say I would do and done them without the words to announce to the world that I'd do it. Regardless, I think I would have said more than I've done, but only by a little bit.
5. What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world?
I would like to eliminate greed.
5. What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world?
I would like to eliminate greed.
This was a toss up between greed and religion, and I figure that if you get rid of religion, which stops a number of wars from happening, then you'd still have greedy fucks absorbing too much resources and therefore leaving others assed out. With greed eliminated, religious wars would probably still be less numerous because then people wouldn't be so greedy about converting others to their religion, and maybe they'll actually practice what they preach.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Fiction writing. The Marko Man series would make me billions, and I'd like to believe that I'd share it to help others get off the ground and do things, but... you know... human nature, and "you never know until you get there," and stuff like that.
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I cannot settle for doing dishes all my life. I'm settling for now because it's paying the bills and enabling me to do things that I otherwise wouldn't be able to do, such as the slow but steady movement towards doing what I believe in.
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I would probably take many, many more risks, playing with odds that could have me catch fire.
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I let it spiral out of control with the passing of my father, allowing that to negatively affect me longer and harder than it should have. Now, I'm slowly but surely taking back hold of the reigns.
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
I think I'm more worried about doing things that I want to do than either of those.
11. You are having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I try to figure out why they feel this way about this person. If the criticism is unjustified, then that probably means that there is something about her that they don't know that may need to be brought to the light.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Do onto others as you would want others to do onto you.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
11. You are having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I try to figure out why they feel this way about this person. If the criticism is unjustified, then that probably means that there is something about her that they don't know that may need to be brought to the light.
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Do onto others as you would want others to do onto you.
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Absolutely.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
I see insanity almost all the time. And there are plenty of times where creativity comes out of it. So yes.
15. What is something you know you do differently than most people?
Amazing... because I feel like I do so many things different from most people that I can't even name one thing that I do differently... or maybe, it's not what I do differently... maybe it's he things that people do that I don't do... therefore... I think I entertain myself differently.
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
I see insanity almost all the time. And there are plenty of times where creativity comes out of it. So yes.
15. What is something you know you do differently than most people?
Amazing... because I feel like I do so many things different from most people that I can't even name one thing that I do differently... or maybe, it's not what I do differently... maybe it's he things that people do that I don't do... therefore... I think I entertain myself differently.
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because I am Epic.
Additionally, because I have no problem being myself. I used to say "I'm unique," but everyone's unique these days... kinda misses the point... the point is to be yourself.
17. What is one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Ahhh... that girl... oh wait, you said thing?
17. What is one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Ahhh... that girl... oh wait, you said thing?
Well, then... I want to learn how to make video games. The only thing holding me back is myself, but I honestly just have to put up a bit of money and truly dedicate myself to learning how to make games from scratch (or as far as I can find scratch).
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
It's possible... I'll figure that out in a few short months.
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Well, there's Japan, because they're apparently awesome when it comes to new technology.
And then there's Ecuador. Because it's warm. All the time.
As for states... Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina seem like ideal places weather wise. I also hear everything's cheaper down there.
But I frikin love New York. It would be totally awesome if I could earn a salary that let's me live here comfortably.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I actually know that elevator buttons don't actually work.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I would totally rather be a worried genius, simply because I put so much value in intelligence. That's not to say that there's no pluses to being a joyful simpleton...
22. Why are you, you?
I think, therefore, I am.
But I frikin love New York. It would be totally awesome if I could earn a salary that let's me live here comfortably.
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I actually know that elevator buttons don't actually work.
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I would totally rather be a worried genius, simply because I put so much value in intelligence. That's not to say that there's no pluses to being a joyful simpleton...
22. Why are you, you?
I think, therefore, I am.
I'm me because... well, I think I'm a negatively produced product of my environment... I kinda like doing things opposite of what everyone else is doing because I find that a lot of things other people do is ineffective or something like that. Or maybe it's just as simple as me not liking what everyone else is doing... I don't know. I'm just weird, and that's why I'm me.
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Hell yeah. Shit, I talk to myself, I'm already the kind of friend that I want as a friend.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Hell yeah. Shit, I talk to myself, I'm already the kind of friend that I want as a friend.
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
They both suck, but it would seem as though losing touch with a good friend next door gives a better opportunity to reunite.
25. What are you most grateful for?
25. What are you most grateful for?
Life. It's a wonderful experience.
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
I'd have to flip a coin. My old memories are great, but I can't help but think that the best is yet to come...
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Depends on how fast you accepted one plus one equaling two...
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
My greatest fear is death. Death stopped by and took my father. So...
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
5 years ago, I wasn't really upset about anything. But 4 years ago... holy shit.
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Depends on how fast you accepted one plus one equaling two...
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
My greatest fear is death. Death stopped by and took my father. So...
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
5 years ago, I wasn't really upset about anything. But 4 years ago... holy shit.
But no, it doesn't matter.
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
I don't have a "happiest childhood memory." Not that my childhood wasn't happy. It's just that I don't feel like going back to find something that made me the "happiest," because within a week or two, the "happiest" memory will be something else.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
Either when I was writing during those 3 days off for NaNoWriMo, those two games of Marvel vs. Capcom 1 where I played the best Strider Hiryu of my life, or hanging with the bros. in Atlantic City (still ain't drop those Lost Adventures...)
32. If not now, then when?
Eventually. Yes, yes, I know... it might be too late then.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
I don't have a "happiest childhood memory." Not that my childhood wasn't happy. It's just that I don't feel like going back to find something that made me the "happiest," because within a week or two, the "happiest" memory will be something else.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
Either when I was writing during those 3 days off for NaNoWriMo, those two games of Marvel vs. Capcom 1 where I played the best Strider Hiryu of my life, or hanging with the bros. in Atlantic City (still ain't drop those Lost Adventures...)
32. If not now, then when?
Eventually. Yes, yes, I know... it might be too late then.
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
The ground you've made to get to the point where you can viable achieve it. (if you haven't achieved $500,000 yet... are you willing to risk the $400,000 you to get there?)
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Ahh... those moments where I looked into her eyes and our eyes said everything that mattered... if only I could bring that magic back.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because it's not about supporting love, it's about controlling people.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
No, because what if what we consider good is evil and evil, good?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because it's not about supporting love, it's about controlling people.
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
No, because what if what we consider good is evil and evil, good?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Yup. I'd invest the million so that it would generate income for life.
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More work that I'd actually enjoy doing... because then, it's not work.
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Yup.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
I do not remember.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Ronald, Jeffrey, Justin, Joe, Nicole, Sandra, Sally... assuming that I have a 24 hour period to make these visits...
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Nope.
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Ronald, Jeffrey, Justin, Joe, Nicole, Sandra, Sally... assuming that I have a 24 hour period to make these visits...
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Nope.
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Being alive is breathing, eating, etc... life processes and such.
Truly living is actually doing things that you want to do... maybe not everything that you want to do, because that would imply perfection, which does not exist, but doing more than a few things that you want to do, that you love doing. Or maybe, truly living is simply enjoying yourself, even if you're doing things that you don't like.
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
Three days before the shit hits the fan, because if you do just go ahead and do what you know is right when the shit hits the fan, it just might be too late.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
We fear rejection and embarrassment and disappointment.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I dunno, I do a lot things regardless of judgment anyway...
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
Three days before the shit hits the fan, because if you do just go ahead and do what you know is right when the shit hits the fan, it just might be too late.
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
We fear rejection and embarrassment and disappointment.
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I dunno, I do a lot things regardless of judgment anyway...
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
This morning. Apparently, most humans breathe incorrectly. I'm trying to correct it.
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love writing fiction. My recent venture of NaNoWriMo reminded me of this love.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Nope, nope, and nope.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I'm part of the 99%, so decisions are obviously being made for me. That said, the decisions that I can make for myself by myself are decisions that I make for myself, by myself.
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love writing fiction. My recent venture of NaNoWriMo reminded me of this love.
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Nope, nope, and nope.
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I'm part of the 99%, so decisions are obviously being made for me. That said, the decisions that I can make for myself by myself are decisions that I make for myself, by myself.
October 22, 2011
The Adventures of Mark Wins #7: A Night of Life and Death
I had a choice last night.
Go out and party with some friends.
Or play Streets of Rage.
I chose to go out last night.
Big mistake.
I was out with my friends Chris and his girlfriend Valerie, Eddie, and Krystal. It's been a while since we all hung out together, so this was pretty cool in theory.
We all met up on the Ave. (Jamaica Avenue) and we took the F train to find this place called the "R Bar," which Krystal had heard was a pretty cool place and whatnot.
That was a fucking lie... okay, not really, actually, but it just wasn't what we were looking for.
See, we were kinda looking for a kind of party where you can pretty much dance with anyone you like and, at the same time, be safe as possible. For whatever reason, we've all come to figure out that those two party traits (dancing with whomever and maximum safety) do not go hand in hand anymore. Obviously, this is just a theory, but it's been pretty difficult to disprove it.
Anyway, we get to R Bar, and we get in with no problem. We slip inside and we hear the music... not that bad, but not that good, but actually, kinda better than some other shit that could have been possible, so I have no grudges against it. But everyone was white.
Now, this wouldn't be a problem... but they can't dance. No fucking rhythm whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, I'm no James Brown, but... even if I wanted to dance with these chicks that were there, hell no.
Funny thing is, I didn't even notice it at first... I had to use the bathroom, so I did. When I came back, Krystal and Eddie already had a drink while Chris and Valerie were dancing, and Krystal nudges me to show me these white chicks that were dancing horribly. And she could not stop laughing. She had been extra bubbly even before we got on the train, so it was clear to me that she had pre-gamed herself for the night. But she was dying of laughter while Eddie and I had this "are you fucking serious?" expression on our face.
Chris came up to us and was like this clearly isn't going to get any better. So we left.
Now we're out here in the middle of Manhattan wondering what to do. That's when I remember something about a place called Hype Lounge and it being free to get in tonight. I look up the place on my phone and it's a significantly easy walk away from where we were, so start to hoof it.
On our way there, we almost died. Twice.
The first time we almost died was when this obviously drunk driver decided that he didn't like driving on the street anymore, so he ran upside the curve and hit a street light. The crazy thing is that I felt that 4 out of 5 people on the road that night either didn't know how to drive and/or was intoxicated, so I was kinda wary about this, and I pretty much pulled us all out the way when the idiot hit the street light. And we were all kinda traumatized... except Krystal's bubbly ass. She was laughing her ass off.
So we move on because we don't want to be bother with cops and police reports on one of the rare nights we can actually hang like this, and we end up trying two other clubs before we get to Hype. The first one was called Urge, and it was wack. The second one didn't have a name, but when we went inside, it smelled of crystal meth. Now, I don't know it crystal meth has a particular smell, but if it does, my guess would be that it smelled something similar to what it smelled like in this unmarked club/lounge/drug house.
And the entering of that place is pretty much the second near death experience, because there's no telling what might have happened had we actually stayed.
We left that place, we walk, and we finally get to Hype... where we were denied access because of the dress code.
It didn't even occur to us that a dress code could keep us out of a place like that. We all pretty much had jeans, sneakers, non-collared shirts, and hoodies. But apparently, we weren't dressed to party. I... didn't even know that, but whatever.
Of course, Krystal's laughing at the bouncer that kept us out, talking all types of shit to this guy about both him and this Hype lounge. It wasn't funny until Eddie 1) insisted that we stay and let her finish and 2) Eddie continued to egg her on with the word "And", which led to her really going off. Like, she would say something, Eddie would say "Annnnnnnnnnd...?" and she's say something else. Then Eddie would say "Annnnnnnnnnnnnd...?" and she's say something else. We were dead ass there for at least five minutes until she seriously ran out of stuff to say... too funny.
So at this point, we have a choice... go home, or find something to do. Obviously, we should have just went home, but Krystal was like, "Fuck that yo. We came out here to have a good time and damnit we're gonna have a good time! We're gonna find something to get into and we're going to get into it! Let's go to Times Square!"
Super random destination is super random. I had no problem with walking, and neither did Valerie, but Chris and Eddie didn't like the idea, but they were kinda outnumbered, so we ended up walking to Times Square. On our way there, we damn near died again because some asshole decided that he wanted to run a red light. Fortunately, I saw that one coming too, so we stopped accordingly.
On our way there, we end up seeing three clubs/lounges/drug houses: The Hurricane Club, Club Ultra, and Pulse. We didn't even bother trying to get in because 1) The Hurricane Club looked like it had a $100 cover charge to get it, 2) Club Ultra looked wack as shit although Chris swore he heard of it before but wasn't exactly sure why and 3) Pulse was obviously not our type of crowd, complete with plenty of Asians. It also looked like it had crystal meth in it.
We get to Times Square. And nothing happens. So at this point, we decide to go home.
We look for a train station, and we find a NQR1237 station that tells us to go to 8th Ave. to enter for the ACE... and we kinda needed to be on the E.
So we walk to 8th Ave, and we see the subway station, but not before Eddie sees a Adult DVD store and strip club next to it. Krystal and Valerie want to go into the porn shop, so we go in. They're having a ball, laughing at the videos, the costumes, the lingerie, and everything, making a complete mockery out of the place by pretending to try some of the stuff on and mocking the positions that they see on the DVD covers. At one point, Krystal was on the ground, mocking some legs up in the air position, and at this point, it was clear that we needed to leave.
So we leave, and Eddie wants to go into the strip club, where my wallet bleeds. It's a $20 cover charge, plus one drink minimum .Minimum drink cost? $10. $30 gone and I ain't even wanna be in there.
Krystal wants a lap dance, Valerie wants a lap dance and insists that Chris gets one but Chris didn't want on. Eddie got, like 3 lap dances Apparently, this nigga is ballin' heavy tonight. I didn't even have enough money to pay for a fucking lap dance, so Eddie picks one out for me and insists that she gives me a lap dance while Krystal and Valerie hold my arms. After four songs, this psuedo-fetish lap dance comes to a mandatory end. Obvious highlight of my night.
We leave, we get on the train, we're tired, mostly silent and half sleep. I have no money for a cab, but this ballin' ass nigga Eddie offers to pay for mine ride home. I'm cool with it... until we get to a stop that has an F train chillin right there. I tell Eddie, "yo I'm a just take the 111 to save you money and shit," and he's like "iight cool."
So I transfer to the F, thinking that the F is gonna take a year to get to the Q111 stop and I'll be there just in time.
Big mistake.
This was the fastest F ever. Got to the stop and I had a 30 minute wait ahead of me. Whatever. It wasn't that cold, so it wasn't that big of a deal to me.
And this is where I almost die a fourth time.
So I'm out there, waiting on the bus. And some random guy comes up to me asking for money. I tell him I ain't got any. (I had a little bit, but fuck. I already spent more than I bargained for.) Big mistake, I should have just given him a little bit or whatever, cause this guy... well, he looked like he was kinda pissed about me not giving him any money.
He comes back after trying to talk to some girl, and he starts to talk to me about girls and shit. Okay, that's cool and all.
And then he says he's gonna take a walk and be right back.
Ummmm... excuse me?
Now my mind is like, "This guy is obviously going to come back and murk me. Nuh uh, not today."
So I book it down some street just as he leaves visual distance and I get to Sutphin Blvd. I'm not necessarily scared for my life or anything, but in my current state, I was not trying to deal with life and death situations on the spot. So I had to come up with a plan to get home...
The original plan was to take the airtrain to get to the Q3 to transfer to the Q111 or something like that. Then I came up with a plan to just wait it out and maybe he'd be home by the time I decided to just hop on the Q111. And then I realized that maybe I had enough money to take the LIRR home.
I had just enough money to take the LIRR home. So I took the LIRR home.
On my way home, I got stopped by the cops for the first time ever in my life because I ran across a street in hopes of not getting ran over even though I had the right of way. Cop car rolls up on me and he's like "Why were you running?" And I explain to him my night of life and death experiences and how I shoulda just stayed home and how I think this guy was trying to kill me over a dollar and I might have thrown in some more stuff, but... well, at this point, I just wanted to go home. He asked me where I lived and I was like 8 blocks down, and he let me rock.
And then I got home.
So in summary, I wasted $40+ dollars, had an adventure that was only slightly better than the destination, had 4 near death experiences, and got stopped by the cops for the first time ever in life.
When I got home, I thought to myself...
I should have just played Streets of Rage.
Go out and party with some friends.
Or play Streets of Rage.
I chose to go out last night.
Big mistake.
I was out with my friends Chris and his girlfriend Valerie, Eddie, and Krystal. It's been a while since we all hung out together, so this was pretty cool in theory.
We all met up on the Ave. (Jamaica Avenue) and we took the F train to find this place called the "R Bar," which Krystal had heard was a pretty cool place and whatnot.
That was a fucking lie... okay, not really, actually, but it just wasn't what we were looking for.
See, we were kinda looking for a kind of party where you can pretty much dance with anyone you like and, at the same time, be safe as possible. For whatever reason, we've all come to figure out that those two party traits (dancing with whomever and maximum safety) do not go hand in hand anymore. Obviously, this is just a theory, but it's been pretty difficult to disprove it.
Anyway, we get to R Bar, and we get in with no problem. We slip inside and we hear the music... not that bad, but not that good, but actually, kinda better than some other shit that could have been possible, so I have no grudges against it. But everyone was white.
Now, this wouldn't be a problem... but they can't dance. No fucking rhythm whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, I'm no James Brown, but... even if I wanted to dance with these chicks that were there, hell no.
Funny thing is, I didn't even notice it at first... I had to use the bathroom, so I did. When I came back, Krystal and Eddie already had a drink while Chris and Valerie were dancing, and Krystal nudges me to show me these white chicks that were dancing horribly. And she could not stop laughing. She had been extra bubbly even before we got on the train, so it was clear to me that she had pre-gamed herself for the night. But she was dying of laughter while Eddie and I had this "are you fucking serious?" expression on our face.
Chris came up to us and was like this clearly isn't going to get any better. So we left.
Now we're out here in the middle of Manhattan wondering what to do. That's when I remember something about a place called Hype Lounge and it being free to get in tonight. I look up the place on my phone and it's a significantly easy walk away from where we were, so start to hoof it.
On our way there, we almost died. Twice.
The first time we almost died was when this obviously drunk driver decided that he didn't like driving on the street anymore, so he ran upside the curve and hit a street light. The crazy thing is that I felt that 4 out of 5 people on the road that night either didn't know how to drive and/or was intoxicated, so I was kinda wary about this, and I pretty much pulled us all out the way when the idiot hit the street light. And we were all kinda traumatized... except Krystal's bubbly ass. She was laughing her ass off.
So we move on because we don't want to be bother with cops and police reports on one of the rare nights we can actually hang like this, and we end up trying two other clubs before we get to Hype. The first one was called Urge, and it was wack. The second one didn't have a name, but when we went inside, it smelled of crystal meth. Now, I don't know it crystal meth has a particular smell, but if it does, my guess would be that it smelled something similar to what it smelled like in this unmarked club/lounge/drug house.
And the entering of that place is pretty much the second near death experience, because there's no telling what might have happened had we actually stayed.
We left that place, we walk, and we finally get to Hype... where we were denied access because of the dress code.
It didn't even occur to us that a dress code could keep us out of a place like that. We all pretty much had jeans, sneakers, non-collared shirts, and hoodies. But apparently, we weren't dressed to party. I... didn't even know that, but whatever.
Of course, Krystal's laughing at the bouncer that kept us out, talking all types of shit to this guy about both him and this Hype lounge. It wasn't funny until Eddie 1) insisted that we stay and let her finish and 2) Eddie continued to egg her on with the word "And", which led to her really going off. Like, she would say something, Eddie would say "Annnnnnnnnnd...?" and she's say something else. Then Eddie would say "Annnnnnnnnnnnnd...?" and she's say something else. We were dead ass there for at least five minutes until she seriously ran out of stuff to say... too funny.
So at this point, we have a choice... go home, or find something to do. Obviously, we should have just went home, but Krystal was like, "Fuck that yo. We came out here to have a good time and damnit we're gonna have a good time! We're gonna find something to get into and we're going to get into it! Let's go to Times Square!"
Super random destination is super random. I had no problem with walking, and neither did Valerie, but Chris and Eddie didn't like the idea, but they were kinda outnumbered, so we ended up walking to Times Square. On our way there, we damn near died again because some asshole decided that he wanted to run a red light. Fortunately, I saw that one coming too, so we stopped accordingly.
On our way there, we end up seeing three clubs/lounges/drug houses: The Hurricane Club, Club Ultra, and Pulse. We didn't even bother trying to get in because 1) The Hurricane Club looked like it had a $100 cover charge to get it, 2) Club Ultra looked wack as shit although Chris swore he heard of it before but wasn't exactly sure why and 3) Pulse was obviously not our type of crowd, complete with plenty of Asians. It also looked like it had crystal meth in it.
We get to Times Square. And nothing happens. So at this point, we decide to go home.
We look for a train station, and we find a NQR1237 station that tells us to go to 8th Ave. to enter for the ACE... and we kinda needed to be on the E.
So we walk to 8th Ave, and we see the subway station, but not before Eddie sees a Adult DVD store and strip club next to it. Krystal and Valerie want to go into the porn shop, so we go in. They're having a ball, laughing at the videos, the costumes, the lingerie, and everything, making a complete mockery out of the place by pretending to try some of the stuff on and mocking the positions that they see on the DVD covers. At one point, Krystal was on the ground, mocking some legs up in the air position, and at this point, it was clear that we needed to leave.
So we leave, and Eddie wants to go into the strip club, where my wallet bleeds. It's a $20 cover charge, plus one drink minimum .Minimum drink cost? $10. $30 gone and I ain't even wanna be in there.
Krystal wants a lap dance, Valerie wants a lap dance and insists that Chris gets one but Chris didn't want on. Eddie got, like 3 lap dances Apparently, this nigga is ballin' heavy tonight. I didn't even have enough money to pay for a fucking lap dance, so Eddie picks one out for me and insists that she gives me a lap dance while Krystal and Valerie hold my arms. After four songs, this psuedo-fetish lap dance comes to a mandatory end. Obvious highlight of my night.
We leave, we get on the train, we're tired, mostly silent and half sleep. I have no money for a cab, but this ballin' ass nigga Eddie offers to pay for mine ride home. I'm cool with it... until we get to a stop that has an F train chillin right there. I tell Eddie, "yo I'm a just take the 111 to save you money and shit," and he's like "iight cool."
So I transfer to the F, thinking that the F is gonna take a year to get to the Q111 stop and I'll be there just in time.
Big mistake.
This was the fastest F ever. Got to the stop and I had a 30 minute wait ahead of me. Whatever. It wasn't that cold, so it wasn't that big of a deal to me.
And this is where I almost die a fourth time.
So I'm out there, waiting on the bus. And some random guy comes up to me asking for money. I tell him I ain't got any. (I had a little bit, but fuck. I already spent more than I bargained for.) Big mistake, I should have just given him a little bit or whatever, cause this guy... well, he looked like he was kinda pissed about me not giving him any money.
He comes back after trying to talk to some girl, and he starts to talk to me about girls and shit. Okay, that's cool and all.
And then he says he's gonna take a walk and be right back.
Ummmm... excuse me?
Now my mind is like, "This guy is obviously going to come back and murk me. Nuh uh, not today."
So I book it down some street just as he leaves visual distance and I get to Sutphin Blvd. I'm not necessarily scared for my life or anything, but in my current state, I was not trying to deal with life and death situations on the spot. So I had to come up with a plan to get home...
The original plan was to take the airtrain to get to the Q3 to transfer to the Q111 or something like that. Then I came up with a plan to just wait it out and maybe he'd be home by the time I decided to just hop on the Q111. And then I realized that maybe I had enough money to take the LIRR home.
I had just enough money to take the LIRR home. So I took the LIRR home.
On my way home, I got stopped by the cops for the first time ever in my life because I ran across a street in hopes of not getting ran over even though I had the right of way. Cop car rolls up on me and he's like "Why were you running?" And I explain to him my night of life and death experiences and how I shoulda just stayed home and how I think this guy was trying to kill me over a dollar and I might have thrown in some more stuff, but... well, at this point, I just wanted to go home. He asked me where I lived and I was like 8 blocks down, and he let me rock.
And then I got home.
So in summary, I wasted $40+ dollars, had an adventure that was only slightly better than the destination, had 4 near death experiences, and got stopped by the cops for the first time ever in life.
When I got home, I thought to myself...
I should have just played Streets of Rage.
September 12, 2011
I Didn't Actually Learn Much in High School
So when I initially wrote this in this composition notebook, it was about 5:30pm and I was on Roosevelt Island
I love that place.
I finished at around 8pm.
I am now transferring the 15 pages + one line of stuff that wrote onto this here blog.
And I'm not breaking it up. Sorry.
I was going to put a tl;dr version, but fuck that.
Hmmm...
So as I write this, I'm on Roosevelt island, sitting below a sun that's slowly but surely diving behind the buildings of Manhattan.
The breeze, the birds, the waves, the few people that stroll by... they are calming.
I really needed this calming effect. Last week was fucking horrible.
Monday: aka Labor Day. trash.
Tuesday: it rained. trash.
Wednesday: work. trash.
Thursday: more work, but tripped out like a junkie. trash.
Friday: even more work at super busy ass NYSG. trash.
Saturday: bullshit changes at Revolucion that put me over the edge. trash.
Sunday: more bullshit, further sending me down the cliff. trash.
Last week was just so bad for me that I needed a solution and an escape... a set of solutions and multiple, prolonged escape. I had entered mindsets that I either haven't had in a long time or never truly had to begin with. (but not suicide. I can't bring myself to just hurt myself, much less kill myself.)
I rather not go into detail about what kind of bullshit I'm dealing with at work. I'm just going to leave it with the following, niggas had been giving me the dick for too long and I was accepting it, but on Saturday and Sunday, I was tired of the dick. Wrote the assholes a letter since "they see these things," and we'll see what happens when I return on Wednesday.
I was completely enraged on Saturday, and even more so on Sunday. Things piled up on top of more things and I pretty much exploded. Only reason why I'm still "theoretically" employed is because of logic. Logic clearly states that in order for me to keep my family afloat and to otherwise do what I want to do in both the near and distant future, I kinda need this job.
But that doesn't mean I was going to get ran over for free.
Even though I did let them do that.
Now you're probably wondering, "What the fuck does my job have anything to do with you learning nothing in high school?" Eventually, I'll get to that, and if I am as good of writer as I think I am, it will all tie in semi-nicely. And if it doesn't... well... hey.
I basically wrote a letter telling whomever that recent changes that have been made are bullshit and that something has to give.
(The sun is officially behind the buildings at this point.)
What exactly are the changes? Cut hours, new object placement, rubber rugs...
Whatever. It's all bullshit designed to make my life harder than it already is.
And this is what I didn't understand after I made this post... when did my life get so fucking difficult? I mean, high school was extremely easy for me, and it is said that high school is supposed to prepare you for the real world, right? That 94 overall average in my entire four years of Edison means something, right?
(You know, I wanted to see the sun set from Roosevelt Island since the last time I was at Roosevelt Island. But since the buildings are blocking the sun, it's not actually anything all that impressive...)
So that's when I started thinking about high school again. I started thinking about how easy all of my schooling was. Elementary school? Practically all E's. (for Excellent, not E being next to F). And I was told, "Oh, but when you get to junior high school, it's gonna get harder." Got to JHS and brought home 90+ easy. "Oh, but when you get to high school, it's gonna get harder..."
Shut up. I looked forward to the challenges of adulthood, responsibility, and "freedom," and such. And I revisited the conclusion...
I learned jack shit in high school.
I graduated high school with the 12th best overall four year GPA out of 461 students. "Impressive."
"Oh but when you get to college..."
Save it. I go on to Temple University in Philadelphia, PA, despite my parents advice to go to school in state. There, I do one semester, and bust down a 3.25 GPA. And never return. Because my father got sick and passed away.
High school didn't teach me how to deal with family death.
High school didn't teach me to be smart with this college stuff and the money behind it.
High school didn't teach me how to deal with the heart break of falling in love with beautiful, outstanding young ladies that by the time I actually fell in love with them I had no chance to actually get with.
High school didn't teach me how to get a job.
Interesting story: when I was about 16, my brother (who was therefore 12) was like how he wanted a job. Now I was never really the money hungry type. I'm still not. Back then, I didn't always get what I wanted on demand, but I always got what I needed on time. That was good enough for me. Anyway, my brother and I are like how we want jobs (I hopped on the bandwagon... also, I was old enough for working papers, but my brother just wanted to bag groceries really really fast for tips, just to have some money.). My father told me that I didn't need a job, for if I focused on school and maintained the grades I was getting out of high school, into college, and graduated with the flying colors that pretty much everyone expected to graduate with, I'd be able to get any job I wanted because I'm obviously a really smart muafucka that knows what I'm doing and can learn that which I don't know in a flash. And that made an amazing amount of sense to me, so I dismissed the entire desire to want a job at that age.
Problem is, no one foresaw my father's untimely death.
Furthermore, no one foresaw how badly that would effectively destroy my path to greatness.
Admittedly, I allowed my father's death to negatively affect me more than it should have. My father was essentially the driving force pushing an otherwise unstoppable object, but when he died, no longer there to push said unstoppable object, I came to a screeching halt.
And boy did life get hard.
And boy did I allow it to get harder than it needed to be.
I "tried" to get a job. I filled out a few applications but never really followed up on them, simply falling back on my 94 HS GPA, which is, in fact, inferior to the 73 HS GPA with actual work experience. Or even the GED with actual work experience. Especially a person that can hardly speak English but has work experience.
Thus I tried to go school. I went to DeVry. No offense to those who went/go to DeVry are doing amazing things, but it was obviously beneath me. I would tell people "Yeah, I'm going to DeVry now," and I could sense the disappointment that most people had in me when they heard that.
But DeVry had a problem... it was really fucking expensive. Now could I have made it work? If I really wanted to... if I was really ready, then yeah. Retrospect says I could have either dug a deeper hole in debt but staying or at least trying to clot the blood by transferring somewhere else.
I did none of those things. I just dropped out. Because I felt "burnt out."
Now on one hand, I kinda sorta was "burnt out," do to all the shit I was getting involved with in life at the time. On the other hand, I still just wasn't ready for school due to letting my father's death negatively affect me.
Still, high school didn't teach me how to deal with "burn out."
(If I can, I totally want to move to Roosevelt Island. It's so quiet and peaceful and serene...)
(Gonna throw that in my wishful thinking bank...)
I "chilled" (if you wanna call it that) for about a year, suffered a heart break and other bullshit, landed on the bottom of the barrel, dug a small hole underneath that barrel, and that point, it was time to pick myself up and start working my way back to the top.
Looking back upon the initial steps of that climb, I realize...
High school didn't prepare me for how fucking corrupt this country... this planet is.
I get a few jobs, I listen to some stories, I see things that I wouldn't have seen otherwise, I fall for tricks of the trade, and it becomes clear.
Nothing. And I mean nothing. Nothing is as it seems.
High school did not teach me that a lot of the things I was doing "right" were absolutely "wrong."
High school did not teach me how to see the "lies" in the "truth" and vice versa.
Yes, you have to see the "truth" in the "lies" as well.
And as I sit here on this bench. Or as I walk in that airport terminal. Or as I read something on the Internet. Or as I ride on the bus. Or as I breathe.
Or whatever.
I come to the conclusion that people are ignorant. High school didn't teach me that either.
Not necessarily "dumb" or "stupid." Mostly ignorant.
Ignorant mostly because they think they are "free." As long as you live in America and you think you live in a democratic country, then you have fallen for America's most basic trap. You are ignorant.
Granted, that is not the only thing that makes you ignorant. In the end, knowledge is infinite, and you just won't be able to know everything. But it doesn't help that this country provides us with a backbone that keeps us as ignorant as possible. I mean, it's hard to lead a bunch of people with the same amount, if not more, knowledge and information as you do.
(How come as soon as I crank up my music this helicopter shows up?)
Think about any leader ever. Beside the "qualities" of a "leader," what sets a leader apart from everyone else? Knowledge and information.
And/or how much dick they sucked to get that leader position.
lol oh boy... two different stories to tell here... let me put a bunch of stars here so that I can remember this...
Story #1:
This one dates back to when I was in the sixth grade. We had a teacher who evolved into a dean in the middle of the year. This resulted in our class getting a new teacher that was a total rookie... pure fresh meat for our sixth grade claws and teeth to sink into. Don't exactly know why, but we had no respect for this teacher whatsoever. Hard to be a leader with no respect from that which you lead, right?
Well, it gets worse when a student teaches the class how to long division better than you teach it.
Yeah, there's this legend that says that I taught the class how to do long division because apparently I thought she was doin' it wrong. And apparently the class actually knew how to do long division at that point.
I honestly have no memory of the events. But I've heard it on multiple occasions from independent sources. So it must be true.
Anyway, say goodbye to your ability to be a leader for a sixth grade class.
Sure enough, to this day, she teaches, like, kindergarten or something.
Story #2:
This one is more recent.
So we have this really awesome manager at Revolucion who got his hours cut. Clearly he got his hours cut because he's awesome and he doesn't suck dick.
Additionally, there was a cook that was supposed to become the head cook of Revolucion when our "executive chef" (who apparently sucks dick according to the general consensus) left. The cook who did in fact get promoted got there via hard work and no dick sucking. Unfortunately, a cook was hired at a position higher than him, and this cook (the source of my latest over the top Snake grenade+missile+mine+C4 explosion due to the frustration of all those changes) clearly sucks dick. Yes, I'm making this judgement and I haven't even met the guy yet. First impressions muthafucka. Clearly you sucked dick to get that position, I can see the stains.
Okay, so where was I? This is getting really long... awesome.
Oh yeah. Leaders.
High school didn't teach me how to become a leader.
My father always. Always. Always told me, "Be a leader, not a follower." And I did so to the best of my ability. Lead, but at worst, didn't follow unless it was perfectly clear that the leader knew what he/she/it was doing.
But in the end, you can only lead if you have more info than that which you lead.
Parents lead children because they know more.
Teachers lead students because they know more.
Managers lead employees because they know more.
Coaches lead teams because they know more.
Presidents lead countries because they know more.
(all of this assumes that no dick was sucked in the process)
But if you're a President that's leading your country like shit because the rest of the staff that's up there is helping you lead your country like shit, it helps if your fellow citizens doesn't know exactly why the country is being lead like shit, doesn't it? It helps to put out false information and put on false performances such that no one really knows why the country is being lead like shit, right?
Like seriously, as a politician that claims they want "what's best for the country," how can you get any sleep at all knowing that this country is on the brink of falling into a shit hole that, depending on whose theory you read, it won't be able to climb up from?
Easy... you really, honestly don't give a fuck. As long as you're up there in that top 3% that's gonna benefit from your people stuck in the headlock of ignorance.
See, high school didn't teach these things.
So what exactly did high school teach?
Well, as far as "classroom subjects," you really only learn what your brain wants to learn. I learned pretty much all of high school math except logistics because I was sick those days and never followed up on it. I learned about the elements of literature (but alternatively, didn't learn that my Marko Man stories are, in fact, not literature). Learned a bit of physics, chemistry. Couldn't give a shit about history as we know it anymore, since so much of it is probably a lie anyway, so fuck it.
(in short, the Statue of Liberty was given to America by France around the time slavery was abolished. it had nothing to do with the American independence, but instead "freedom" from slavery for black people, but that original design was denied...)
(looking at the city lights from the outside is nice.)
Whatever.
I'm still not sure exactly what high school actually taught... maybe someone can enlighten me.
(two more things I have left on my Roosevelt Island to do list... take the tram and view it from the outside looking it...)
But maybe it taught something... or was supposed to teach something and I just didn't get the lesson. I see a number of my friends have successfully graduated from college and are either in the progress of enjoy successful, doable careers or obtaining even higher education in the form of a Master's degree.
But then again, I also see a number of my friends dealing with their own struggles, scraping and scrapping for cash money.
And then you have people that took a different route... a route that didn't require schooling, and they are doing their thing. Did they learn about this route via high school? Did high school prepare them at all for that detour?
Maybe I wouldn't even bother asking these questions if my father was still alive and he was still pushing this unstoppable object. I could analyze that, but it would take years to come up with a reasonable answer(s)... because... you know... Butterfly Effect, and there are mad butterflies.
Although I haven't seen on all summer. :(
Seen moths though. :/
Of course, none of this actually matters if you believe that the world is going to end in 2012.
Hmmmm... so it's clear to me that only reason I'm still writing and rambling at this point is because as long andhard deep this might have been, I'm still searching for an answer or a conclusion of some kind.
An then I remember this post.
Clearly states that when you are defeated, you have to go back to the drawing board.
Have I been defeated?
Well, I think about decisions I've made concerning the past, the present, and the future (emphasis on present and future since you can't really do shit about the past except speculate... but even speculation can give you info and answers), and I've noticed that I've kinda fallen off my own plans to some extent.
My mind has already made it clear that this is only the beginning of my struggles, and it hasn't even actually begun yet. I have already foreseen the bullshit that I am going to have to deal with in the future when I start making real strides along dangerous territory to get to my personal summit.
And as I sit here, looking into the night skyline across the water... I'm still thinking. This can only mean one thing...
This isn't over.
I love that place.
I finished at around 8pm.
I am now transferring the 15 pages + one line of stuff that wrote onto this here blog.
And I'm not breaking it up. Sorry.
I was going to put a tl;dr version, but fuck that.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Hmmm...
So as I write this, I'm on Roosevelt island, sitting below a sun that's slowly but surely diving behind the buildings of Manhattan.
The breeze, the birds, the waves, the few people that stroll by... they are calming.
I really needed this calming effect. Last week was fucking horrible.
Monday: aka Labor Day. trash.
Tuesday: it rained. trash.
Wednesday: work. trash.
Thursday: more work, but tripped out like a junkie. trash.
Friday: even more work at super busy ass NYSG. trash.
Saturday: bullshit changes at Revolucion that put me over the edge. trash.
Sunday: more bullshit, further sending me down the cliff. trash.
Last week was just so bad for me that I needed a solution and an escape... a set of solutions and multiple, prolonged escape. I had entered mindsets that I either haven't had in a long time or never truly had to begin with. (but not suicide. I can't bring myself to just hurt myself, much less kill myself.)
I rather not go into detail about what kind of bullshit I'm dealing with at work. I'm just going to leave it with the following, niggas had been giving me the dick for too long and I was accepting it, but on Saturday and Sunday, I was tired of the dick. Wrote the assholes a letter since "they see these things," and we'll see what happens when I return on Wednesday.
I was completely enraged on Saturday, and even more so on Sunday. Things piled up on top of more things and I pretty much exploded. Only reason why I'm still "theoretically" employed is because of logic. Logic clearly states that in order for me to keep my family afloat and to otherwise do what I want to do in both the near and distant future, I kinda need this job.
But that doesn't mean I was going to get ran over for free.
Even though I did let them do that.
Now you're probably wondering, "What the fuck does my job have anything to do with you learning nothing in high school?" Eventually, I'll get to that, and if I am as good of writer as I think I am, it will all tie in semi-nicely. And if it doesn't... well... hey.
I basically wrote a letter telling whomever that recent changes that have been made are bullshit and that something has to give.
(The sun is officially behind the buildings at this point.)
What exactly are the changes? Cut hours, new object placement, rubber rugs...
Whatever. It's all bullshit designed to make my life harder than it already is.
And this is what I didn't understand after I made this post... when did my life get so fucking difficult? I mean, high school was extremely easy for me, and it is said that high school is supposed to prepare you for the real world, right? That 94 overall average in my entire four years of Edison means something, right?
(You know, I wanted to see the sun set from Roosevelt Island since the last time I was at Roosevelt Island. But since the buildings are blocking the sun, it's not actually anything all that impressive...)
So that's when I started thinking about high school again. I started thinking about how easy all of my schooling was. Elementary school? Practically all E's. (for Excellent, not E being next to F). And I was told, "Oh, but when you get to junior high school, it's gonna get harder." Got to JHS and brought home 90+ easy. "Oh, but when you get to high school, it's gonna get harder..."
Shut up. I looked forward to the challenges of adulthood, responsibility, and "freedom," and such. And I revisited the conclusion...
I learned jack shit in high school.
I graduated high school with the 12th best overall four year GPA out of 461 students. "Impressive."
"Oh but when you get to college..."
Save it. I go on to Temple University in Philadelphia, PA, despite my parents advice to go to school in state. There, I do one semester, and bust down a 3.25 GPA. And never return. Because my father got sick and passed away.
High school didn't teach me how to deal with family death.
High school didn't teach me to be smart with this college stuff and the money behind it.
High school didn't teach me how to deal with the heart break of falling in love with beautiful, outstanding young ladies that by the time I actually fell in love with them I had no chance to actually get with.
High school didn't teach me how to get a job.
Interesting story: when I was about 16, my brother (who was therefore 12) was like how he wanted a job. Now I was never really the money hungry type. I'm still not. Back then, I didn't always get what I wanted on demand, but I always got what I needed on time. That was good enough for me. Anyway, my brother and I are like how we want jobs (I hopped on the bandwagon... also, I was old enough for working papers, but my brother just wanted to bag groceries really really fast for tips, just to have some money.). My father told me that I didn't need a job, for if I focused on school and maintained the grades I was getting out of high school, into college, and graduated with the flying colors that pretty much everyone expected to graduate with, I'd be able to get any job I wanted because I'm obviously a really smart muafucka that knows what I'm doing and can learn that which I don't know in a flash. And that made an amazing amount of sense to me, so I dismissed the entire desire to want a job at that age.
Problem is, no one foresaw my father's untimely death.
Furthermore, no one foresaw how badly that would effectively destroy my path to greatness.
Admittedly, I allowed my father's death to negatively affect me more than it should have. My father was essentially the driving force pushing an otherwise unstoppable object, but when he died, no longer there to push said unstoppable object, I came to a screeching halt.
And boy did life get hard.
And boy did I allow it to get harder than it needed to be.
I "tried" to get a job. I filled out a few applications but never really followed up on them, simply falling back on my 94 HS GPA, which is, in fact, inferior to the 73 HS GPA with actual work experience. Or even the GED with actual work experience. Especially a person that can hardly speak English but has work experience.
Thus I tried to go school. I went to DeVry. No offense to those who went/go to DeVry are doing amazing things, but it was obviously beneath me. I would tell people "Yeah, I'm going to DeVry now," and I could sense the disappointment that most people had in me when they heard that.
But DeVry had a problem... it was really fucking expensive. Now could I have made it work? If I really wanted to... if I was really ready, then yeah. Retrospect says I could have either dug a deeper hole in debt but staying or at least trying to clot the blood by transferring somewhere else.
I did none of those things. I just dropped out. Because I felt "burnt out."
Now on one hand, I kinda sorta was "burnt out," do to all the shit I was getting involved with in life at the time. On the other hand, I still just wasn't ready for school due to letting my father's death negatively affect me.
Still, high school didn't teach me how to deal with "burn out."
(If I can, I totally want to move to Roosevelt Island. It's so quiet and peaceful and serene...)
(Gonna throw that in my wishful thinking bank...)
I "chilled" (if you wanna call it that) for about a year, suffered a heart break and other bullshit, landed on the bottom of the barrel, dug a small hole underneath that barrel, and that point, it was time to pick myself up and start working my way back to the top.
Looking back upon the initial steps of that climb, I realize...
High school didn't prepare me for how fucking corrupt this country... this planet is.
I get a few jobs, I listen to some stories, I see things that I wouldn't have seen otherwise, I fall for tricks of the trade, and it becomes clear.
Nothing. And I mean nothing. Nothing is as it seems.
High school did not teach me that a lot of the things I was doing "right" were absolutely "wrong."
High school did not teach me how to see the "lies" in the "truth" and vice versa.
Yes, you have to see the "truth" in the "lies" as well.
And as I sit here on this bench. Or as I walk in that airport terminal. Or as I read something on the Internet. Or as I ride on the bus. Or as I breathe.
Or whatever.
I come to the conclusion that people are ignorant. High school didn't teach me that either.
Not necessarily "dumb" or "stupid." Mostly ignorant.
Ignorant mostly because they think they are "free." As long as you live in America and you think you live in a democratic country, then you have fallen for America's most basic trap. You are ignorant.
Granted, that is not the only thing that makes you ignorant. In the end, knowledge is infinite, and you just won't be able to know everything. But it doesn't help that this country provides us with a backbone that keeps us as ignorant as possible. I mean, it's hard to lead a bunch of people with the same amount, if not more, knowledge and information as you do.
(How come as soon as I crank up my music this helicopter shows up?)
Think about any leader ever. Beside the "qualities" of a "leader," what sets a leader apart from everyone else? Knowledge and information.
And/or how much dick they sucked to get that leader position.
lol oh boy... two different stories to tell here... let me put a bunch of stars here so that I can remember this...
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Story #1:
This one dates back to when I was in the sixth grade. We had a teacher who evolved into a dean in the middle of the year. This resulted in our class getting a new teacher that was a total rookie... pure fresh meat for our sixth grade claws and teeth to sink into. Don't exactly know why, but we had no respect for this teacher whatsoever. Hard to be a leader with no respect from that which you lead, right?
Well, it gets worse when a student teaches the class how to long division better than you teach it.
Yeah, there's this legend that says that I taught the class how to do long division because apparently I thought she was doin' it wrong. And apparently the class actually knew how to do long division at that point.
I honestly have no memory of the events. But I've heard it on multiple occasions from independent sources. So it must be true.
Anyway, say goodbye to your ability to be a leader for a sixth grade class.
Sure enough, to this day, she teaches, like, kindergarten or something.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Story #2:
This one is more recent.
So we have this really awesome manager at Revolucion who got his hours cut. Clearly he got his hours cut because he's awesome and he doesn't suck dick.
Additionally, there was a cook that was supposed to become the head cook of Revolucion when our "executive chef" (who apparently sucks dick according to the general consensus) left. The cook who did in fact get promoted got there via hard work and no dick sucking. Unfortunately, a cook was hired at a position higher than him, and this cook (the source of my latest over the top Snake grenade+missile+mine+C4 explosion due to the frustration of all those changes) clearly sucks dick. Yes, I'm making this judgement and I haven't even met the guy yet. First impressions muthafucka. Clearly you sucked dick to get that position, I can see the stains.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
Okay, so where was I? This is getting really long... awesome.
Oh yeah. Leaders.
High school didn't teach me how to become a leader.
My father always. Always. Always told me, "Be a leader, not a follower." And I did so to the best of my ability. Lead, but at worst, didn't follow unless it was perfectly clear that the leader knew what he/she/it was doing.
But in the end, you can only lead if you have more info than that which you lead.
Parents lead children because they know more.
Teachers lead students because they know more.
Managers lead employees because they know more.
Coaches lead teams because they know more.
Presidents lead countries because they know more.
(all of this assumes that no dick was sucked in the process)
But if you're a President that's leading your country like shit because the rest of the staff that's up there is helping you lead your country like shit, it helps if your fellow citizens doesn't know exactly why the country is being lead like shit, doesn't it? It helps to put out false information and put on false performances such that no one really knows why the country is being lead like shit, right?
Like seriously, as a politician that claims they want "what's best for the country," how can you get any sleep at all knowing that this country is on the brink of falling into a shit hole that, depending on whose theory you read, it won't be able to climb up from?
Easy... you really, honestly don't give a fuck. As long as you're up there in that top 3% that's gonna benefit from your people stuck in the headlock of ignorance.
See, high school didn't teach these things.
So what exactly did high school teach?
Well, as far as "classroom subjects," you really only learn what your brain wants to learn. I learned pretty much all of high school math except logistics because I was sick those days and never followed up on it. I learned about the elements of literature (but alternatively, didn't learn that my Marko Man stories are, in fact, not literature). Learned a bit of physics, chemistry. Couldn't give a shit about history as we know it anymore, since so much of it is probably a lie anyway, so fuck it.
(in short, the Statue of Liberty was given to America by France around the time slavery was abolished. it had nothing to do with the American independence, but instead "freedom" from slavery for black people, but that original design was denied...)
(looking at the city lights from the outside is nice.)
Whatever.
I'm still not sure exactly what high school actually taught... maybe someone can enlighten me.
(two more things I have left on my Roosevelt Island to do list... take the tram and view it from the outside looking it...)
But maybe it taught something... or was supposed to teach something and I just didn't get the lesson. I see a number of my friends have successfully graduated from college and are either in the progress of enjoy successful, doable careers or obtaining even higher education in the form of a Master's degree.
But then again, I also see a number of my friends dealing with their own struggles, scraping and scrapping for cash money.
And then you have people that took a different route... a route that didn't require schooling, and they are doing their thing. Did they learn about this route via high school? Did high school prepare them at all for that detour?
Maybe I wouldn't even bother asking these questions if my father was still alive and he was still pushing this unstoppable object. I could analyze that, but it would take years to come up with a reasonable answer(s)... because... you know... Butterfly Effect, and there are mad butterflies.
Although I haven't seen on all summer. :(
Seen moths though. :/
Of course, none of this actually matters if you believe that the world is going to end in 2012.
Hmmmm... so it's clear to me that only reason I'm still writing and rambling at this point is because as long and
An then I remember this post.
Clearly states that when you are defeated, you have to go back to the drawing board.
Have I been defeated?
Well, I think about decisions I've made concerning the past, the present, and the future (emphasis on present and future since you can't really do shit about the past except speculate... but even speculation can give you info and answers), and I've noticed that I've kinda fallen off my own plans to some extent.
My mind has already made it clear that this is only the beginning of my struggles, and it hasn't even actually begun yet. I have already foreseen the bullshit that I am going to have to deal with in the future when I start making real strides along dangerous territory to get to my personal summit.
And as I sit here, looking into the night skyline across the water... I'm still thinking. This can only mean one thing...
This isn't over.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
September 5, 2011
Waist
Some times you gotta grab life by the waist,
Look into her eyes,
And make sweet, sweet love to her.
Look into her eyes,
Peer into the future.
Gather up passion
And let loose... go wild.
Make love to her...
Even after an argument.
Treat her like you want to be treated,
Regardless of how she treated you.
She don't know no better at times.
Still.
Take her. Make out with her.
Let her know you love her.
Sweep her off her feet,
But let her know you're not above her.
Respect her, elect her
As the queen to your kingdom.
All them stupid love songs?
Might as well sing them.
Lay her down, lay her out.
Put her to bed.
Acting particularly stubborn?
... give her head.
Because life ain't predictable,
You never know how your chances are gonna rock,
How this or that will work,
What this or that is worth,
But in the end...
Sometimes...
You gotta take her...
By the waist...
Look into her eyes,
And make sweet, sweet love to her.
Look into her eyes,
Peer into the future.
Gather up passion
And let loose... go wild.
Make love to her...
Even after an argument.
Treat her like you want to be treated,
Regardless of how she treated you.
She don't know no better at times.
Still.
Take her. Make out with her.
Let her know you love her.
Sweep her off her feet,
But let her know you're not above her.
Respect her, elect her
As the queen to your kingdom.
All them stupid love songs?
Might as well sing them.
Lay her down, lay her out.
Put her to bed.
Acting particularly stubborn?
... give her head.
Because life ain't predictable,
You never know how your chances are gonna rock,
How this or that will work,
What this or that is worth,
But in the end...
Sometimes...
You gotta take her...
By the waist...
August 30, 2011
And That's How You Spend Your Days Off Folks...
With a job that totally bothers me, it's best to spend my days off as preciously as possible.
Due to Hurricane Irene, I got 4 days off. I said that I would blog it up, especially if the power went out. I kinda did do some writing during the power outage (that was probably caused not by Irene, but by a few assholes that like to inflict fear...), but most of that writing was for the future of Marko Man... which shall remain disclosed. (hint: it's still on, nothing big... just details... you know?)
So with that said, I can announce that I will have to [at least] three editions of "The Lost Adventures of Mark Wins." Because I had some adventures over the summer that I didn't quite blog about. They are:
Making an Impact
How to Win in Atlantic City
Celebrity Subspace
Those are the titles. Like I said, there may be more, as the summer isn't over yet... I don't consider the summer done till, like, October, depending on how September's weather act... sometimes, September's be hot enough to call 'em summers, so if that's the case this year, best believe I'm not missing a beat.
Yeah, I'll [try to] get back to full time blogging by October. By then, it'll be nice and cold and I won't care about going anywhere because it's too cold (I can't stand the cold), and thus I'll be inside where it's warm, typing up a storm.
But yeah. I wanna thank Hurricane Irene for giving me those four days off. Totally.... totally needed it.
Now... let me test my new PS2 controller... this better work...
Due to Hurricane Irene, I got 4 days off. I said that I would blog it up, especially if the power went out. I kinda did do some writing during the power outage (that was probably caused not by Irene, but by a few assholes that like to inflict fear...), but most of that writing was for the future of Marko Man... which shall remain disclosed. (hint: it's still on, nothing big... just details... you know?)
So with that said, I can announce that I will have to [at least] three editions of "The Lost Adventures of Mark Wins." Because I had some adventures over the summer that I didn't quite blog about. They are:
Making an Impact
How to Win in Atlantic City
Celebrity Subspace
Those are the titles. Like I said, there may be more, as the summer isn't over yet... I don't consider the summer done till, like, October, depending on how September's weather act... sometimes, September's be hot enough to call 'em summers, so if that's the case this year, best believe I'm not missing a beat.
Yeah, I'll [try to] get back to full time blogging by October. By then, it'll be nice and cold and I won't care about going anywhere because it's too cold (I can't stand the cold), and thus I'll be inside where it's warm, typing up a storm.
But yeah. I wanna thank Hurricane Irene for giving me those four days off. Totally.... totally needed it.
Now... let me test my new PS2 controller... this better work...
August 2, 2011
Hello.
This blog has been sitting in the warehouse for mad long now. I guess I might as well just post it before I leave for work... *silence* @ work.
Amy Winehouse and Mega Man
So Amy Winehouse passed away recently... I might come off as an insensitive bastard for this, but honestly, I feel more pain in the idea that Capcom might not be making anymore Mega Man games due to his creator, Kenji Inafune, leaving Capcom on terms that aren't in fact the greatest than Amy Winehouse's death. Why?
Amy Winehouse and Mega Man
So Amy Winehouse passed away recently... I might come off as an insensitive bastard for this, but honestly, I feel more pain in the idea that Capcom might not be making anymore Mega Man games due to his creator, Kenji Inafune, leaving Capcom on terms that aren't in fact the greatest than Amy Winehouse's death. Why?
- Amy Winehouse had it coming. She didn't even wanna go to rehab. And then had the nerve to make a song about it. (You could argue that Mega Man, as Inafune's creation, had it coming as well, as he was doing some questionable things over there at Capcom...)
- Mega Man has contributed much more to my life than Amy Winehouse. There's Mega Man 1-4 (never beat 4, actually), 7 and 8, Mega Man X 1-7 (never played 8... what the hell), and Mega Man Xtreme on the Game Boy Color. Not to mention his showings in the Marvel vs. Capcom games.
- The death of celebrities just don't shock me anymore... my father passed in 07, my grandmother in 09, and my aunt in 2010. I've had friends deal with family deaths in similar impacts, and you can feel them struggling to maintain and trying to keep their heads up with that initial absence. So yeah... could hardly care. I haven't even heard any one of her songs. I only know of the rehab song via facebook statuses...
Work is Killer, Man.
These assholes... they fire someone without the proper manpower to replace him, so let's shuffle the fuck out of everyone's schedule. My schedule keeps me from doing any SCW shows (at the moment... maybe it'll change? I don't even know), and I worked a ridiculous 6 consecutive days since last Thursday, and only had yesterday off since. The fact that I'm still here is nothing short of a win in my book.
And yeah, that's why I hardly blog as much as I used to... it's getting ridiculous. I really need to mark a plan to get the fuck outta there. Interestingly enough and partially unrelated, I see a number of friends in interesting predicaments that have them making interesting decisions... it will be interesting to see how our futures' play out.
Did I mention that I openly talk to myself with no remorse? Yup. Totally lost my sanity.
Did the Overall Quality of Entertainment go Down Drastically?
So about a week or so ago, I was randomly talking to my brother about how terrible the TV show "House of Payne" is and how the only character that's worth anything is Curtis Payne and how if you remove Curtis Payne, you have nothing. My brother responds on some dumb shit like you only need one good character... like, why would you need more than one funny character? So then I break down how sitcoms like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and the Cosby Show had more than one really good character, and how even if you remove the main character, you could easily write a funny show involving the rest of the cast that would obviously still be lacking, but still be watchable than House of Payne. And he's like, that's not good, cause then you're expected to laugh all the time... and I'm like, is that not the point of a sitcom?
So then he says some shit like, "what if the WWE had more than one John Cena?"
Once upon a time, they did. Undertaker, Steve Austin, Rock, HHH, etc... what happens when you have more than one John Cena? You get a bit of unpredictability, where anyone of those good wrestlers can take the title, duh.
And that's when I think to myself... has the overall quality of entertainment gone down? And have people learned to appreciate this terrible quality of entertainment?
Which brings me to my next point...
I Think the Movie Industry is Out of Ideas...
Transformers
Green Lantern
Captain America
Chipmunks
Smurfs
Spiderman (again)
There's more... I just don't feel like going through it all.
Now I know, there are original movies. And I'm willing to bet that when I was young, there were remakes and such... but am I wrong for believing that new ideas are just running on fumes these days?
MvC3 > 10 months > UMvC3
So I was gonna do a blog about how this is stupid, about how Capcom did this with Street Fighter 2 and Street Fighter 3 and how it's different from doing this with Street Fighter 4 and Marvel vs. Capcom 3 because of the technology available and stuff... and then I stopped caring.
10 months, however, isn't unprecedented, however. The gap between SF2: Championship Edition and SF2: Hyper Fighting is something along the lines of 8 months. The gap between SF3: New Generations and SF3: 2nd Impact is something along the lines of 9 months. Of course, the big difference is being in an arcade vs. being on consoles that are damn near computers and shit.
But like I said... I stopped caring. At least they'll be making the game "better" unlike what they did with SSF4: AE... SSF4 was arguably the most balanced SF game since Street Fighter Alpha 2, and they just destroyed it. How exactly is beyond me because I don't play the game enough. Some say is because they nerfed the fuck out of everyone that isn't Makoto and Fei Long. Some say is because the twins are just too good. Personally, I don't give a fuck.
MvC3 needed an update. (Personally, I think MvC needs to hit 4, already, but I digress) The game was getting stale, the X-Factor was too powerful, and outside of X-Factor, strategies were leveling out to exactly the same shit to the point where the beginning of matches in the same set were starting to look exactly the same. UMvC3 looks to add more new moves and shit, nerf that with which was considered stupid shit (like Sentinel and Phoenix), and ultimately, provide the illusion that this will be something awesome.
And I'm still backing the shit out of SFxT. Yet, I wouldn't be surprised if it gets a new edition in a year or so. That's the Capcom way... I remember when SF4 was first announced that I said it would have at least 3 versions. With SSF4, I thought I'd be wrong, but... you know.
I promise you that I have, like 10 blog ideas...
... just waiting to be written. But... you know... work and shit... maybe someday.
Even more about work...
so I've decided I'm not putting out a 100% effort until they make things right. Nothing works, and I'm out here busting my ass, but if I put in less effort, I get the same amount of money anyway, so there.
I swear, there's a beautiful relationship waiting to happen here, but I got no chance in hell to make moves because when I'm not working, they're working and when they're not working, I'm working. Awesome turn of events.
This blog in and of itself....
Has been written in like, 3 different parts, differing from three different days. The reason why I'm actually about to post this is because I'm totally lacking the fuck out of posts right now. I'm also noticing that if I make blogs about video games, they tend to get hits.
But then again...
My DBZ post got the most hits ever... and I definitely have at least one more DBZ related post to put up. You can thank a friend named Kyle for that.
And now I'm just rambling off...
but you know what? I am one sexy muther fucker. Even if I don't have the look of a waiter.
Yeah, like at my job... and I'm willing to bet that this is in most places... you can't really be a cashier or stuff like that if 1) you lack a vagina and 2) you don't have the "look." Oh, you're a dude looking for a job? Oh, you look like that? Here, take this labor bullshit.
I am not a laborer. I am a thinker, a creator. I am also a damn hard worker, and that strength is weakness... I get abused... BUT NO MOAR!
I see a lot of people at my job have, like, another job. Apparently, this one on its own doesn't cut it. Crazy... people have become slaves to the dollar. Even my schedule has attempted to make me a slave to the dollar. For the two days off that I have, they are started by a late night which usually results in my waking up late and followed by an early morning which would require me to sleep early. Meaning my actual day off is cut off.
Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
Fuck that. I'm dethroning this muther fucker. I REFUSE to allow my life to get ruined by this job... at least for the summer. When it gets cold and there's no interest in being out there in 40 degree weather, then it's whatever. But now? Naaaaah... it's too hot outside to be "relaxing" on days off. Naaaah... I gotta be out doing shit.
So I'll relax this once... this last once... and then from here on in? Bugging out on my days off for the rest of the summer. My job is just going to have to put up with bullshit performances... bullshit performances is better than no performance, no? I mean, I don't think they can afford to fire me. They're already low on dish washing man power as it is. Like yesterday... if I didn't show up (which I was thinking about doing due to our new attendance policy and how the 1st of each month provides a god-like loophole type maneuver), they would have been fucked. In the ass. No lube. Except the blood.
Evo was/is this weekend.
I followed it more than I originally thought I would. Well, then again... I'm lying... I only watched it practically all of Sunday. Saw the MK9 finals, Tekken 6 finals, MvC3 Top 8 and SSF4AE Top 8. Congrats to the winners. Lol @ 3-4 Phoenix teams in top 8 in Marvel. Lol @ 2 Yuns, 1 FeiLong, 3 Vipers, an Akuma, and a Seth in Top 8 in AE. MvC3 obviously had more "variety" than Marvel 2 last year, but I'm gonna have to see what exactly happened with last year's SSF4. If I remember correctly, there was the Ryu, a Honda, an Adon, maybe two Akumas, a Zangief, and two other characters. But yeah Capcom. Good job fucking up the balance. Viper did surprise me though, only cause I hadn't been following the game, but Viper definitely fits in well with the new AE metagame.
And that's a wrap.
I think that it all that I've had on my mind over the past era... well, all that I had on my mind that I would want to put this blog and wouldn't get me killed or something like that. Hopefully August will be better for this blog, but with my work schedule... I don't even know.
I did notice that blogs with pictures get more hits than blogs without pictures... so I'll look into that in the future. This blog suffered with post numbers, but still got an interesting number of hits...
Even more about work...
so I've decided I'm not putting out a 100% effort until they make things right. Nothing works, and I'm out here busting my ass, but if I put in less effort, I get the same amount of money anyway, so there.
I swear, there's a beautiful relationship waiting to happen here, but I got no chance in hell to make moves because when I'm not working, they're working and when they're not working, I'm working. Awesome turn of events.
This blog in and of itself....
Has been written in like, 3 different parts, differing from three different days. The reason why I'm actually about to post this is because I'm totally lacking the fuck out of posts right now. I'm also noticing that if I make blogs about video games, they tend to get hits.
But then again...
My DBZ post got the most hits ever... and I definitely have at least one more DBZ related post to put up. You can thank a friend named Kyle for that.
And now I'm just rambling off...
but you know what? I am one sexy muther fucker. Even if I don't have the look of a waiter.
Yeah, like at my job... and I'm willing to bet that this is in most places... you can't really be a cashier or stuff like that if 1) you lack a vagina and 2) you don't have the "look." Oh, you're a dude looking for a job? Oh, you look like that? Here, take this labor bullshit.
I am not a laborer. I am a thinker, a creator. I am also a damn hard worker, and that strength is weakness... I get abused... BUT NO MOAR!
I see a lot of people at my job have, like, another job. Apparently, this one on its own doesn't cut it. Crazy... people have become slaves to the dollar. Even my schedule has attempted to make me a slave to the dollar. For the two days off that I have, they are started by a late night which usually results in my waking up late and followed by an early morning which would require me to sleep early. Meaning my actual day off is cut off.
Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
Fuck that. I'm dethroning this muther fucker. I REFUSE to allow my life to get ruined by this job... at least for the summer. When it gets cold and there's no interest in being out there in 40 degree weather, then it's whatever. But now? Naaaaah... it's too hot outside to be "relaxing" on days off. Naaaah... I gotta be out doing shit.
So I'll relax this once... this last once... and then from here on in? Bugging out on my days off for the rest of the summer. My job is just going to have to put up with bullshit performances... bullshit performances is better than no performance, no? I mean, I don't think they can afford to fire me. They're already low on dish washing man power as it is. Like yesterday... if I didn't show up (which I was thinking about doing due to our new attendance policy and how the 1st of each month provides a god-like loophole type maneuver), they would have been fucked. In the ass. No lube. Except the blood.
Evo was/is this weekend.
I followed it more than I originally thought I would. Well, then again... I'm lying... I only watched it practically all of Sunday. Saw the MK9 finals, Tekken 6 finals, MvC3 Top 8 and SSF4AE Top 8. Congrats to the winners. Lol @ 3-4 Phoenix teams in top 8 in Marvel. Lol @ 2 Yuns, 1 FeiLong, 3 Vipers, an Akuma, and a Seth in Top 8 in AE. MvC3 obviously had more "variety" than Marvel 2 last year, but I'm gonna have to see what exactly happened with last year's SSF4. If I remember correctly, there was the Ryu, a Honda, an Adon, maybe two Akumas, a Zangief, and two other characters. But yeah Capcom. Good job fucking up the balance. Viper did surprise me though, only cause I hadn't been following the game, but Viper definitely fits in well with the new AE metagame.
And that's a wrap.
I think that it all that I've had on my mind over the past era... well, all that I had on my mind that I would want to put this blog and wouldn't get me killed or something like that. Hopefully August will be better for this blog, but with my work schedule... I don't even know.
I did notice that blogs with pictures get more hits than blogs without pictures... so I'll look into that in the future. This blog suffered with post numbers, but still got an interesting number of hits...
July 17, 2011
Why I Almost Quit
Real minor shit, I tell you, but listen... this is how my mind works... I'm a crazy dude...
I'm washing these damn dishes, right? And as I'm washing them, that damn crazy lady drops off a yellow cutting board. And walks off.
Now, the way she did it was she quickly dropped off the board and left just as quickly as she appeared, in her regular, jolly manner.
But in my twisted mind, the bitch dropped off the cutting board with her chin held high, thinking to herself, "He better wash that shit. Haha. My job is better than yours."
No matter which way this event is interpreted, my mind still found a common problem with this...
WHY THE FUCK AM I EXPECTED TO THIS?
And with that thought, I damn near walked out. Fortunately, I came to my senses and simply continued this bullshit.
Get it? If you do, congrats, you're probably equivalently as awesome as I am. If you don't get it, don't worry, it's possible that you're still relatively awesome, but just not equivalently, as that statement flew over your head. But I'll explain it anyway.
You see, I am Mark. I should not be washing dishes for money. This job is beneath me. Easily. And yet, here I am doing this shit, four days out the week for what isn't even an incredible amount of money.
And they wanna take my Mondays away from me too... but then they wanna adjust my hours... specifically, have me come in later during the weekend closings, because it doesn't already take too fucking long for me to wash all those gotdamn dishes...
Like, a few days ago, some guy asked me if I wanted to work six days a week. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm already losing my mind working four days a week. And fuck the "extra money." At what cost? This place has already reduced my health, both mentally and physically... like, I got sick. During the summer though? Really? Come on...
There's no way I could legitimately deal with the blatant, overall allergicness to logic for more than four days a week... uncalled for... seriously, everywhere I look, I see a lack of logic... it's fucking ridiculous.
But back to the point... why am I expected to do this shit? I am Mark. I should be programming something, or writing a book, or something like that. I am not a laborer. I am a thinker, a creator. So why am I doing the work of indentured servants?
Well... I thought about this... thought about my path of life... thought about all the setbacks I had to deal with... thought about my childhood vs. my adulthood... ultimately, via some a series of unfortunate events, I had been knocked off my destined path... or maybe, this is the destined path and I just didn't know it. My goals... they have changed considerably simply because things aren't nearly as bright as I thought they were when I was kid. I do have goals, however, that are relatively similar to the ones I had when I was younger, but they've been adjusted by the reality that is this harsh world.
What's interesting is that I always looked forward to the challenges of adulthood. I know of many who would rather be a kid again. I had an okay childhood... could be better, but could obviously be much worse, so I appreciate it for what it was. But adulthood, even with the initial setbacks, current challenges, and future issues, seems to be leagues better than my childhood. Still, there was no way in hell I was prepared for this. Any of this. I had no idea that my life would spiral out of my control, only for me to somehow maintain a smidget of control many years later and have to trudge down this ridiculously difficult path.
Yeah, that's quite a sample of all the thinking I did today after deciding not to quit.
But then I had come across a nasty little revelation...
I learned nothing in high school...
To Be Continued...
I'm washing these damn dishes, right? And as I'm washing them, that damn crazy lady drops off a yellow cutting board. And walks off.
Now, the way she did it was she quickly dropped off the board and left just as quickly as she appeared, in her regular, jolly manner.
But in my twisted mind, the bitch dropped off the cutting board with her chin held high, thinking to herself, "He better wash that shit. Haha. My job is better than yours."
No matter which way this event is interpreted, my mind still found a common problem with this...
WHY THE FUCK AM I EXPECTED TO THIS?
And with that thought, I damn near walked out. Fortunately, I came to my senses and simply continued this bullshit.
Get it? If you do, congrats, you're probably equivalently as awesome as I am. If you don't get it, don't worry, it's possible that you're still relatively awesome, but just not equivalently, as that statement flew over your head. But I'll explain it anyway.
You see, I am Mark. I should not be washing dishes for money. This job is beneath me. Easily. And yet, here I am doing this shit, four days out the week for what isn't even an incredible amount of money.
And they wanna take my Mondays away from me too... but then they wanna adjust my hours... specifically, have me come in later during the weekend closings, because it doesn't already take too fucking long for me to wash all those gotdamn dishes...
Like, a few days ago, some guy asked me if I wanted to work six days a week. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm already losing my mind working four days a week. And fuck the "extra money." At what cost? This place has already reduced my health, both mentally and physically... like, I got sick. During the summer though? Really? Come on...
There's no way I could legitimately deal with the blatant, overall allergicness to logic for more than four days a week... uncalled for... seriously, everywhere I look, I see a lack of logic... it's fucking ridiculous.
But back to the point... why am I expected to do this shit? I am Mark. I should be programming something, or writing a book, or something like that. I am not a laborer. I am a thinker, a creator. So why am I doing the work of indentured servants?
Well... I thought about this... thought about my path of life... thought about all the setbacks I had to deal with... thought about my childhood vs. my adulthood... ultimately, via some a series of unfortunate events, I had been knocked off my destined path... or maybe, this is the destined path and I just didn't know it. My goals... they have changed considerably simply because things aren't nearly as bright as I thought they were when I was kid. I do have goals, however, that are relatively similar to the ones I had when I was younger, but they've been adjusted by the reality that is this harsh world.
What's interesting is that I always looked forward to the challenges of adulthood. I know of many who would rather be a kid again. I had an okay childhood... could be better, but could obviously be much worse, so I appreciate it for what it was. But adulthood, even with the initial setbacks, current challenges, and future issues, seems to be leagues better than my childhood. Still, there was no way in hell I was prepared for this. Any of this. I had no idea that my life would spiral out of my control, only for me to somehow maintain a smidget of control many years later and have to trudge down this ridiculously difficult path.
Yeah, that's quite a sample of all the thinking I did today after deciding not to quit.
But then I had come across a nasty little revelation...
I learned nothing in high school...
To Be Continued...
June 21, 2011
Status of the Mark Wins Blog and Life Otherwise
So overall, this blog has been seeing slow but seemingly sure growth.
My primary source of views are FaceBook friends, which I truly appreciate. However, I am starting to expand my audience and I am getting views from different sources.
My most viewed post thus far has been "Why Vegeta is Secretly Dragonball Z's Main Character." And personally, I think that's amazing. This doesn't mean that I'm going to turn this into a DBZ blog, as I don't really have that much to talk about in terms of DBZ (although I could make an attempt at another post... maybe it's DBZ that people want to read about, or maybe it's just the awesomeness that is Vegeta.)
My blog has been seemingly dead due to work and due to enjoying my days off outside of my house. It's summer, so one shouldn't be surprised if somehow, my blog posts start to fade in number over the next couple of months. There will definitely be some more Adventures of Mark Wins coming soon, as this summer has tons of awesome activities in store... definitely going to live it up this summer.
I've also gained access to two awesome games which I will be retro reviewing soon, SmackDown! Here Comes the Pain and Need for Speed: Most Wanted. These games are awesome, and I will definitely be playing the fuck out of these games.
As far as blog growth is concerned, I'll definitely have to make an effort to really get this going especially since I'm going to working on bigging up the Marko Man series, and this other random project that I'm not quite going to reveal yet... mainly because the project is just something that I haven't even put to paper yet. Actually, there are a lot of things that I haven't put to paper yet... But hey, that's life.
In the end, the point of this blog is to let people know that the blog isn't dead, but rather chilling. Which it should be considering it's the summer time. I would expect that most of my readers are out doing cool shit anyway, since my assumption is that most of my readers are cool as shit.
My primary source of views are FaceBook friends, which I truly appreciate. However, I am starting to expand my audience and I am getting views from different sources.
My most viewed post thus far has been "Why Vegeta is Secretly Dragonball Z's Main Character." And personally, I think that's amazing. This doesn't mean that I'm going to turn this into a DBZ blog, as I don't really have that much to talk about in terms of DBZ (although I could make an attempt at another post... maybe it's DBZ that people want to read about, or maybe it's just the awesomeness that is Vegeta.)
My blog has been seemingly dead due to work and due to enjoying my days off outside of my house. It's summer, so one shouldn't be surprised if somehow, my blog posts start to fade in number over the next couple of months. There will definitely be some more Adventures of Mark Wins coming soon, as this summer has tons of awesome activities in store... definitely going to live it up this summer.
I've also gained access to two awesome games which I will be retro reviewing soon, SmackDown! Here Comes the Pain and Need for Speed: Most Wanted. These games are awesome, and I will definitely be playing the fuck out of these games.
As far as blog growth is concerned, I'll definitely have to make an effort to really get this going especially since I'm going to working on bigging up the Marko Man series, and this other random project that I'm not quite going to reveal yet... mainly because the project is just something that I haven't even put to paper yet. Actually, there are a lot of things that I haven't put to paper yet... But hey, that's life.
In the end, the point of this blog is to let people know that the blog isn't dead, but rather chilling. Which it should be considering it's the summer time. I would expect that most of my readers are out doing cool shit anyway, since my assumption is that most of my readers are cool as shit.
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