Why I Almost Quit

Real minor shit, I tell you, but listen... this is how my mind works... I'm a crazy dude...

I'm washing these damn dishes, right? And as I'm washing them, that damn crazy lady drops off a yellow cutting board. And walks off.

Now, the way she did it was she quickly dropped off the board and left just as quickly as she appeared, in her regular, jolly manner.

But in my twisted mind, the bitch dropped off the cutting board with her chin held high, thinking to herself, "He better wash that shit. Haha. My job is better than yours."

No matter which way this event is interpreted, my mind still found a common problem with this...

WHY THE FUCK AM I EXPECTED TO THIS?

And with that thought, I damn near walked out. Fortunately, I came to my senses and simply continued this bullshit.

Get it? If you do, congrats, you're probably equivalently as awesome as I am. If you don't get it, don't worry, it's possible that you're still relatively awesome, but just not equivalently, as that statement flew over your head. But I'll explain it anyway.

You see, I am Mark. I should not be washing dishes for money. This job is beneath me. Easily. And yet, here I am doing this shit, four days out the week for what isn't even an incredible amount of money.

And they wanna take my Mondays away from me too... but then they wanna adjust my hours... specifically, have me come in later during the weekend closings, because it doesn't already take too fucking long for me to wash all those gotdamn dishes...

Like, a few days ago, some guy asked me if I wanted to work six days a week. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm already losing my mind working four days a week. And fuck the "extra money." At what cost? This place has already reduced my health, both mentally and physically... like, I got sick. During the summer though? Really? Come on...

There's no way I could legitimately deal with the blatant, overall allergicness to logic for more than four days a week... uncalled for... seriously, everywhere I look, I see a lack of logic... it's fucking ridiculous.

But back to the point... why am I expected to do this shit? I am Mark. I should be programming something, or writing a book, or something like that. I am not a laborer. I am a thinker, a creator. So why am I doing the work of indentured servants?

Well... I thought about this... thought about my path of life... thought about all the setbacks I had to deal with... thought about my childhood vs. my adulthood... ultimately, via some a series of unfortunate events, I had been knocked off my destined path... or maybe, this is the destined path and I just didn't know it. My goals... they have changed considerably simply because things aren't nearly as bright as I thought they were when I was kid. I do have goals, however, that are relatively similar to the ones I had when I was younger, but they've been adjusted by the reality that is this harsh world.

What's interesting is that I always looked forward to the challenges of adulthood. I know of many who would rather be a kid again. I had an okay childhood... could be better, but could obviously be much worse, so I appreciate it for what it was. But adulthood, even with the initial setbacks, current challenges, and future issues, seems to be leagues better than my childhood. Still, there was no way in hell I was prepared for this. Any of this. I had no idea that my life would spiral out of my control, only for me to somehow maintain a smidget of control many years later and have to trudge down this ridiculously difficult path.

Yeah, that's quite a sample of all the thinking I did today after deciding not to quit.

But then I had come across a nasty little revelation...

I learned nothing in high school...

To Be Continued...