December 31, 2011


This year... man, it's been soooo good to me. Right off the bat, really.

Like, in January, I was introduced to the concept of "Winning." Jacko started it. No. Really. He did. One day he decided that "They don't win. I win." Then Charlie Sheen blew it up. Me? I'm still embracing it. Can't tell? Just look up.

March showed the fruits of the mindset, especially on March 29th. That day, I went out on a mission to get a job and I got hired, just like I said I would. Granted, I didn't start working until June, but it's okay, because in April and May, I was granted with many an opportunity that I probably would have otherwise missed out on had I been working. I started this blog, explored different hobbies, went to a poetry reading, hung out with great friends old and new, and... well, won.

June comes and I finally start working. The job, in and of itself, is ass, but with it came cash, and therefore the opening up of brand new opportunities, such as an improved expereince at the Impact Wrestling (TNA) house show, a trip to Atlantic City, a walk through the celebrity subspace know as Madame Tussaint's wax museum (yes, yes, all of these are still lost adventures that I never posted... call me lazy), and even a couple of very capable visits to Philly.

That's not to say that work has been all bad. I've met a few good people there, even a few that I would go as far as considering "friends." (We'll see how far that actually goes). I'm also physically stronger now due to work than I've been in years. It also inspired me (or frustrated me enough) to go head-first into NaNoWriMo and start up a novel that's far from finished. It reminded me of why I love writing so much... the sheer adventure that I can create just by turning sentences into paragraphs, paragraphs into pages, pages into Chapter... etc... it's an amazing feeling that I'm glad I got back in touch with.

December didn't really provide much... exept the concept of Christmas shopping. It was the first time I went Christmas shopping for more than two people, and it was an interesting experience. I found out that while I suck at wrapping gifts, I am pretty good at giving gifts. And seeing the smiles on their faces when the recipents received their gifts... priceless.

So all in all, 2011 was a phenomenal year for me. There were a few frustrations here and there, but for the most part, the year was awesome, epic, and full of win.

And that, I saw so long to 2011, and hello to 2012! I'm not worried about an asteroid destroying the planet o the planet imploding upon itself so much as I am worried about some idiot accidentally hitting the "Nuke Every Continent Simultaneously" button. If the world comes to an end, it'll be because of us humans. But I really ain't all that worried about it. We'll be find. World's gonna end on some random year, like 56883 or something...

So cheers to another year of fun and jokes, epicness and awesomeness, friends and family, love and positivity, wins and success!

December 27, 2011

Lost SCW Videos

Marko vs. Li'l Scar

Marko vs. Jacko

Jacko vs. Convict (SCW Title Shot)

Convict vs. Jacko (SCW Title Shot)

Jacko vs. J-Fury

And that's all I have... SCW will return... next year.


Song of the Day

I'm not even from Brooklyn. But damn, if this song isn't hard.

What amazes me is that this apparently came out in 2009. Throne aside, why is Jay-Z consistently putting out rap that actually appeals to my ears? Why is Jay-Z still putting out amazing ass music?

Why is this beat sooooo fucking amazing? Why does this beat make me want to go out and represent Brooklyn? I'm from Queens...

Runner Up... This little discovery...

Randomly enough, I have at least 4 more posts to post before this year ends...

December 21, 2011

4chan vs. 9gag

So I randomly noticed that 4chan decided to bomb 9gag with ridiculousness (and that's putting it lightly).

A little research shows that the reason 4chan decided to bomb 9gag with ridiculousness is because 9gag allegedly claimed to be the source of most or all Internet Memes that we know and love.

And 4chan didn't take kindly to that kind of claim, especially with 9gag apparently making some kind of serious cash towards these meme and using them and abusing them when, apparently, they didn't even come up with this stuff.

My take on the situation?

Well, I definitely heard of 4chan before I heard of 9gag. Heard of 4chan since about 2008-09. Just learned of 9gag this year. I also know that 4chan has apparently been the source of memes for quite a while.

Also, 4chan's FaceBook page is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay funnier than 9gag's FaceBook page. I'm glad I discovered  it.

And now there's a war between the two sites, which has apparently been wrecking 9gag's basic functions, such as signing up and posting stuff. Crazy thing is... can't you post anything you want on 4chan? without the need of signing up or even revealing your identity? So it's not even like 9gag can strike back with shit that hasn't already been 1up'd by 4chan itself.

The war has a "pointlessness" to it, but only because, well... in the end, I don't see how 9gag wins. Sure, 9gag may get more votes in polls on being better than 4chan, but that's just because of marketing. Ask 50 Cent; marketing can save your ass from anything and anyone. (seriously, how did 50's career not die going up against D-Block? marketing...)

Ultimately, I see 9gag shutting down its functions again until they just admit whatever they need to admit, be it that they're not better, that they didn't originate the majority of meme, or just simply defeat...

Personally, though? I'm rooting for the /b/rothers! They have apparently been entertaining me on the low for quite some time without me even knowing it, and as far as I know, they probably are the reason 9gag even exists.

December 16, 2011

Internet Censorship

So there's talk of the Entertainment Industry pushing the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), which could censor the Internet as well as cripple and stop websites such as YouTube and FaceBook, limit the use of blogs and vlogs, and could force Google to blacklist certain websites, keeping people from searching for them, finding them, and even viewing them.

Let's say this passes through Congress and becomes a legit law that does in fact cripple the Internet as we know it. Are we willing to blacklist the Entertainment Industry by simply not watching TV and going to movies and buying music until they get the message?

It's a relatively non-violent way of protesting this shit if it were to pass. We simply make the Entertainment Industry BLEED the greed blood that keeps them running (MONEY). It would also allow money to go into necessary things. Like food and bills. It would also force the hands of soooo many, especially advertisers that make money through the Entertainment Industry.

But you know what? I think Americans are too hypnotized to be able to do even that.

To censor the Internet is a pretty blatant breaking of our first amendment rights of free speech and freedom of press. The biggest thing, however, is that the Internet is such a capable enabler and such a great teacher for those who want to learn. Internet is easily the best school in the world, allowing you to learn practically anything you want for free. And the Government clearly doesn't want us to learn, which is why the Government will have no problem passing this, because if people have the ability to learn, then people have the potential to see how full of shit the Government actually is.

Long story short, we, the citizens of the United States of America, should be daring them to pass this. We should be daring them to limit our use of the Internet, daring them to see if we, the citizens of the United States of America, won't make them bleed. We shouldn't have to plead to Congress to not pass this. We should be daring them to pass this and see what happens to their wallets.

But, unfortunately, like with all bullshit that ever happens, we will get upset for three seconds and simply adjust to the bullshit that we've been given.

I could go sooooooo much deeper into this rabbit hole in terms of money, entertainment, education, voting, etc. But I'm just going to keep it simple and end with this...

If this bill actually passes, please don't remain in your hypnosis. Open your eyes, and more importantly, open your mind to how ridiculous things are getting...

December 12, 2011

When the End Shows Up

The end.
We don't know where it is.
So I challenge you.
I dare you.
To find it.

Go ahead.
Spend your whole time
trying to find it.
Trying to guess,
Where this end may be.
Over here?
Over there?
Or maybe nowhere at all...

But what begins must end,
And where there's an end, there's a beginning, right?
Well, one of those statements
Haven't necessarily been proven to be true...

Especially when you lose someone
And you look for that person
That can fill those shoes,
Those big, big shoes.

Unfortunately, you can't find that person.
Just like how you can't find that end.
And then maybe, that's when you realize...

Something isn't right.
You've always been told one thing.
And when it gets to it,
You find out you've been lied to.

And you wonder.

And you wonder.

And you wonder....

Then you stop wondering,
And you call it an end.
And you find yourself in limbo,
Between one moment of ponder
And another.
Trying to prove things right.
Trying to prove things wrong.
Trying to prove... something.

You're just looking for a truth,
A way,
An understanding.

But you can't find it.
Just like the end.
Or that beginning that's supposed to match the end.

Nothing. Ever. Found.
Because you can't find nothing.
So you can find everything.
And you started to think again.

And your end shows up.

My Words

With all the words out there, how do I make you see mine?
Do I take a picture of them and post them on a sign?
Do I mail them to a famous chick and have her read them all?
Do I quit because my words aren't destined to be read at all?

Maybe my words go unread since I supersaturate
The paper and the pages as I try to instigate
The depths of your mind that you'd rather keep asleep
Since it's easier to navigate the shallowness you seek.

Maybe it's the topic that you just don't care about.
Maybe it's the fact that it's reading like I shout.
Maybe it's not the words, but that they're linked to my name,
Or maybe it's the fact that this isn't a game.

I may never understand how pics gets more views than my words,
Or how I'm auto-losing to those stupid Angry Birds.
Trends come and go, and my words may never pop,
But as long as I'm inspired, my words will never stop.

The Fence

I used to laugh at them.
Until I met this one thing...
A chain link fence...

I looked up.
Didn't seem that tough.
But it was the timing...
Time, there was none.

Death approached.
This fence stood in my way.
There was no turning back...
Only one way out...

But not so much.
I tried to go up...
I went back down...

They want me dead.
And here I am stalling...
Incapable of climbing...

Crunch time.
The spikes are ready.
They wanted me mangled...
Millions of pieces...

Grab it.
One hand, then the other.
Up, one foot, two...
Slowly... surely... fearfully...

But still, very... very... slowly.
Can't even look down...
Can't even look down...

Will I Ever Let Go?

Will I ever let go
And fall in the abyss?
Will I ever stop
In order to move on?
Will I ever drop it
And move on up?

I may be stuck here,
But it's much less scary
Than the idea that some day
You won't be there.
Fuck courage,
I prefer being stranded.

Here. Hopeless.
Process. Endless.
You won't save me.
I won't save me.
Someone please
Cut my fingers off.

50 Questions That Can Help Free Your Mind

I jacked these questions from here, so if you want to answer them without seeing my answers, then you click either that link or this link. There's no difference, they all go to the same webpage. 

Below are my answers to these questions....

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I'd say somewhere between 18 and 21. I'm a go with 20.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
My experiences have proven to me that never trying is much worse than failing because if you never try, then it's an auto-fail, and you don't learn that first hand experience that the fail was going to teach you.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
We do so many things that we don't like because that's the way life has been set up for the most part, where we work, we pay bills, and do a bunch of things that we simply don't like doing due to its necessity. We like so many things that we don't do because either it was actually done once and sure enough, it was fun, but since it's not a necessity to life, we don't get to do it enough, or it gives off the perception of being something that we like, but since we never tried it, we don't know for sure if we like it or not.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
At this rate, it's about equal... there are things I said that I'd do and haven't done yet, and there are things that I didn't say I would do and done them without the words to announce to the world that I'd do it. Regardless, I think I would have said more than I've done, but only by a little bit.

5. What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world?
I would like to eliminate greed. 
This was a toss up between greed and religion, and I figure that if you get rid of religion, which stops a number of wars from happening, then you'd still have greedy fucks absorbing too much resources and therefore leaving others assed out. With greed eliminated, religious wars would probably still be less numerous because then people wouldn't be so greedy about converting others to their religion, and maybe they'll actually practice what they preach.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Fiction writing. The Marko Man series would make me billions, and I'd like to believe that I'd share it to help others get off the ground and do things, but... you know... human nature, and "you never know until you get there," and stuff like that.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I cannot settle for doing dishes all my life. I'm settling for now because it's paying the bills and enabling me to do things that I otherwise wouldn't be able to do, such as the slow but steady movement towards doing what I believe in.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I would probably take many, many more risks, playing with odds that could have me catch fire.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I let it spiral out of control with the passing of my father, allowing that to negatively affect me longer and harder than it should have. Now, I'm slowly but surely taking back hold of the reigns.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
I think I'm more worried about doing things that I want to do than either of those.

11. You are having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I try to figure out why they feel this way about this person. If the criticism is unjustified, then that probably means that there is something about her that they don't know that may need to be brought to the light.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Do onto others as you would want others to do onto you.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
I see insanity almost all the time. And there are plenty of times where creativity comes out of it. So yes.

15. What is something you know you do differently than most people?
Amazing... because I feel like I do so many things different from most people that I can't even name one thing that I do differently... or maybe, it's not what I do differently... maybe it's he things that people do that I don't do... therefore... I think I entertain myself differently.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because I am Epic.
Additionally, because I have no problem being myself. I used to say "I'm unique," but everyone's unique these days... kinda misses the point... the point is to be yourself.

17. What is one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Ahhh... that girl... oh wait, you said thing?
Well, then... I want to learn how to make video games. The only thing holding me back is myself, but I honestly just have to put up a bit of money and truly dedicate myself to learning how to make games from scratch (or as far as I can find scratch).

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
It's possible... I'll figure that out in a few short months.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Well, there's Japan, because they're apparently awesome when it comes to new technology.
And then there's Ecuador. Because it's warm. All the time.
As for states... Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina seem like ideal places weather wise. I also hear everything's cheaper down there.
But I frikin love New York. It would be totally awesome if I could earn a salary that let's me live here comfortably.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I actually know that elevator buttons don't actually work.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
I would totally rather be a worried genius, simply because I put so much value in intelligence. That's not to say that there's no pluses to being a joyful simpleton...

22. Why are you, you?
I think, therefore, I am.
I'm me because... well, I think I'm a negatively produced product of my environment... I kinda like doing things opposite of what everyone else is doing because I find that a lot of things other people do is ineffective or something like that. Or maybe it's just as simple as me not liking what everyone else is doing... I don't know. I'm just weird, and that's why I'm me.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Hell yeah. Shit, I talk to myself, I'm already the kind of friend that I want as a friend.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
They both suck, but it would seem as though losing touch with a good friend next door gives a better opportunity to reunite.

25. What are you most grateful for?
Life. It's a wonderful experience.

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
I'd have to flip a coin. My old memories are great, but I can't help but think that the best is yet to come...

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Depends on how fast you accepted one plus one equaling two...

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
My greatest fear is death. Death stopped by and took my father. So...

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
5 years ago, I wasn't really upset about anything. But 4 years ago... holy shit.
But no, it doesn't matter.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
I don't have a "happiest childhood memory." Not that my childhood wasn't happy. It's just that I don't feel like going back to find something that made me the "happiest," because within a week or two, the "happiest" memory will be something else.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
Either when I was writing during those 3 days off for NaNoWriMo, those two games of Marvel vs. Capcom 1 where I played the best Strider Hiryu of my life, or hanging with the bros. in Atlantic City (still ain't drop those Lost Adventures...)

32. If not now, then when?
Eventually. Yes, yes, I know... it might be too late then.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
The ground you've made to get to the point where you can viable achieve it. (if you haven't achieved $500,000 yet... are you willing to risk the $400,000 you to get there?)

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Ahh... those moments where I looked into her eyes and our eyes said everything that mattered... if only I could bring that magic back.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because it's not about supporting love, it's about controlling people.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
No, because what if what we consider good is evil and evil, good?

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Yup. I'd invest the million so that it would generate income for life.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More work that I'd actually enjoy doing... because then, it's not work.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
I do not remember.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Ronald, Jeffrey, Justin, Joe, Nicole, Sandra, Sally... assuming that I have a 24 hour period to make these visits...

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Being alive is breathing, eating, etc... life processes and such.
Truly living is actually doing things that you want to do... maybe not everything that you want to do, because that would imply perfection, which does not exist, but doing more than a few things that you want to do, that you love doing. Or maybe, truly living is simply enjoying yourself, even if you're doing things that you don't like.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
Three days before the shit hits the fan, because if you do just go ahead and do what you know is right when the shit hits the fan, it just might be too late.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
We fear rejection and embarrassment and disappointment.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I dunno, I do a lot things regardless of judgment anyway...

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
This morning. Apparently, most humans breathe incorrectly. I'm trying to correct it.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love writing fiction. My recent venture of NaNoWriMo reminded me of this love.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Nope, nope, and nope.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I'm part of the 99%, so decisions are obviously being made for me. That said, the decisions that I can make for myself by myself are decisions that I make for myself, by myself.

Standing Before a Fantasy

Your eyes, your lips,
Your thighs, your hips,
Those are the things I desire.
Games are played,
Dumb decisions are made,
But my insides are still on fire.

I once made you scream
In an incredible dream.
These thoughts I just cannot escape.
Dreamed I was your best,
But then you just left,
And I thought that I was too late.

You reach out for me,
Your hands I can see,
Our eyes meet and grapple a stare.
I let you grab hold,
But I stay un-bold,
Lack of words go and prove that I'm scared.

Tell you I should,
But those illusions were good.
I love that fantastic feel.
High risk, high reward,
I could miss, I could score,
And maybe I'll make this thing real.


So cold...
My skin... freezing...
Cold sweat... dripping ice...
Yearning for heat... your heat...
Below zero... all over...
Except... my heart...
It feels for you...
Despite the blizzard...
The arctic ways...
Of the world around me...
Won't keep me from the desire...
Of love...

So cold...
Brain freeze is imminent...
Can't even think straight...
Can't even... think...
Memory is failing...
Basic functions... difficult...
And that's why my heart...
Takes over...

So cold...
I can't even think... warm thoughts...
Forgot... what warmth is...
I know no tropics...
Sunrays... so far away...
Not rain... snow and ice...
Not gentle... violent winds...
Winter strikes me...
Over... and over... again...
My body... shut down...
My eyes... frozen open...
Yet I only see... with my heart...

So cold...
My idiot heart... wanders...
In a quest... for survival...
It reaches out for you...
Hoping you take my hand...
Lead me... to eternal paradise...
Not the illusion... the actual...

December 9, 2011

Late nites

Why do I enjoy late nites? 'Cause late nites enjoy me.
From fakest light to darkest dark, all of it I see.
Others rest as my sleep pattern cracks and gets destroyed,
As I simmer in solitude that I truly enjoy.

The world is such a different place when no one is awake,
The scene around me, so serene, and calls for no headache.
The silence is appealing and the golden really shines,
The thinking is real fluent during these a.m. times.

Honestly, I love the sun, but night sure has its ways,
Allowing me to obtain peace during my darkest days.
For truth in luminosity is never truly bound,
As some things shine so brightly that in dark its best found.

There is no one to judge me here in this blatant black,
Metaphors allow me to smoke my mental crack.
While I love people, people love me, and I love my light,
Mistress of dark will always have a special place at night.

If I Wrote a Poem

If I wrote a poem for every heart I touched,
There's no way the poem would past the second line.
But that's merely the bitch in me talking,
For in reality, I've probably saved many a soul.
And in that line, lies an arrogant asshole,
But somewhere in between I could find
The real me, the true me, the me I need to be
For me to finally see everything I ever wanted to see.

If I wrote a poem for every fight I won,
Then the poem would be of decent length
But if I wrote a poem for every fight that mattered,
The poem would be of a similar length.
If I wrote a poem for every fight I won
With the fight being that of one that mattered,
Then there's a guarantee
That the poem would not exist.

If I wrote a poem for the pain,
Then the poem would last for years.
Floods would start via the rain
From the overflow of tears.
That sick feeling in my stomach
Would have to get a line
As I describe in detail
The emotion of every time.

If I wrote a poem for the love,
Then the poem would last for years.
Water would drop from above
From the overflow of tears.

That sick feeling in my stomach
Would have to get a line
As I describe in detail
The emotion of every time.

Journeys Are Stupid

"Journeys are stupid,"
You try to reason to yourself,
but the fact is,
You love the journey.
You just hate the ends.
Either the satisfaction is short lived,
Or the result is failure.

And you would think you'd learn,
But you never do
Because you go on another journey,
and either get the short-term win,
Or the long-term loss.
And then you come to the conclusion...

"Journeys are stupid,"
You totally agree.
But not totally at all,
because the memories made,
the souls touched,
the new things learned,
They're all worth something,
something greater than the result,
And everything else
you're conscious of.

But that's the problem.
You don't live in the ideal,
You don't live in the subconscious,
You don't live in the hidden realms
Of true knowledge and understanding.
You live in the here.
You live in the now.
You live in the reality.
You live in a life
That consistently kicks you ass.
So you look back at everything
With the most pessimistic outlook
And you think to yourself

"Journeys are stupid."
because you have nothing to show for it.
Nothing of value.
Nothing of worth.
Everything that you ever gained from anything?
Intangible, you can only tell,
but you can't show.
You can't demonstrate.
All of the lessons,
Internal, spiritual, emotional.

You can become as wise as you want to be,
Spread you advice to others,
urging the people to not make
The same mistakes you made,
And somehow, that feels good
To be able to share something
That can keep other people out of harm's way,
But the problem with all of that is,
As much as you block harm from others,
You accept harm for yourself,
And then you realize...

"Journeys are stupid."
You keep coming back to this statement.
At this point, you're convinced
That you have obtained a truth from this statement.
From the broken heart,
To the lost cash,
From the failed attempts,
To the empty fulfillment,
Everything comes back to that statement,
A statement that you hold true at this point.

And there is nothing that could tell you otherwise.
No matter what friend tells you it's gonna be alright,
No matter who appreciated your advice and benefited from it,
No matter if it put you at the right place to avoid a worse fate,
No matter when everything finally comes together for you,
No matter the reasons that you had to go through all of that first place,
The statement of the day holds true.
But you look back anyway.
One more time.
Just to see.
And you know what?

"Journeys are stupid."

December 7, 2011

Song o the Day

The song of the day is Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N' Roses.

This is the first song I ever played in a Guitar Hero game. And I fell in love with it immediately... without ever catching the name of the song.

Years later, a co-worker blesses me with the name of this song as it played on the restaurant radio.

And I feel reunited with a lost love.

Now if only I had a legit mp3 player to play it on... (mine has a broken volume button, so I can't increase volume... booooo....)

Runner up:

Don't judge me for going from Guns N' Roses to Jay-Z.

I can hear what I wanna hear, post what I wanna post,
Steer where I wanna steer and coast where I wanna coast.

'Cause it's alright.

December 2, 2011

NaNoWriMo Reflections

So NaNoWriMo's over, and I finished with a solid 50,072 words at 8:30 pm on Wednesday, November 30th. Awesome.

This was my second attempt at NaNoWriMo. I believe that I mentioned somewhere that I failed miserably last year, but this year was amazingly successful. It was an amazing experience. That said, it's totally possible that I will never do NaNoWriMo again.

You see, I think the concept of NaNoWriMo is to get people to write when they can't write or won't write or something like that. Generally, I don't have much of a problem writing, so long as I'm interested in the material that I'm writing about. The Marko Man series has seen hundreds of stories, thousands of chapters, and billions of words because it's subject matter that I care about. And then there were non-Marko Man stories that were started and never finished because somewhere along the line, I stopped giving a shit. And ultimately, I have no regrets when it comes to not finishing a story that I didn't care for because if I didn't give much of a shit to write it, then readers probably would have given less of a shit to read it. Hell, half of the time, the things that I do write and put care into it doesn't get read because it's too long or what have you. So... yeah.

Still, this was a great experience. It is something that I should do again, provided I have the inspiration in terms of the story to write, but just like with this piece, in no way will I be limiting the story to just 50,000 words (unless that's the best length for it). The worst part, though, had to have been the end. Within the last 5 days, I had 25,000 words to go, and man did I have to pump out some shit to reach the goal. I was pretty much coercing myself to write more than I naturally wanted to do, which is something else. I think during the third day of that five day rush, my brain felt like it was sizzling after a given writing session. Pushing 2000 or 3000 words furiously, and then being done with it like, "whoa... crazy."

But then again, the best part of this thing was the last 5 days as well, specifically that Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday that I had off... I had pretty much isolated myself from the rest of the world to sit down in front of my computer and create my own world (not to mention have breaks from this created world that I was working on and playing video games and watching awesome videos). When I came back to the real world that Wednesday for work, I felt sooo refreshed. Even when I went to work yesterday, I was feeling much, much better than usual.

So yeah... NaNoWriMo? Great experience, like I already said. I may or may not do it again... me not doing it ever again in life wouldn't exactly ruin my life, but I have to say, NaNoWriMo reminded me of how much I love writing fiction, regardless of whether my stories count as "literature" or not. Sure, I've been writing a lot. Between this blog, poetry, the wrestling editioral column that I do on, and the walls of text that I throw down on FaceBook (and during blue moons), I haven't missed a word. I even wrote a few (relatively insignificant) short stories somewhere in between when I was going through this phase of needing some kind of validation for my work by trying to submit "literature" (aka shit not in my style) to random publications and stuff. But the last time I wrote a fictional story of length? Well, I went through my notes on FaceBook, apparently, the last word of Marko Man's Untitled Internet Finale was July 18th, 2010. That was more than a year ago. Quite a hiatus from novel writing (I mean, the UIF may not have started off as a novel, but it sure as fuck turned into one, so yeah). So this... this was kinda like a return to my roots... and boy did it feel good to return to those roots while exploring something slightly different from what I'm used to writing.

What's interesting though, however, is how I'm now reconsidering that decision to make Marko Man a web comic series. Writing... it feels so good and so natural to me... it's the one thing that I know for a fact I can do well under a given circumstance. It's the one thing that I know is mine as a talent (or maybe a very, very, very refined skill), and it's the one thing I love doing at any given moment. You take my video games away from me, and I'm fine as long as I can write.

That said... well... I don't really know how to end this.

"But Mark, didn't you just talk about how writing is your first love and how it comes natural to you?"

Yes. Yes, I did.

December 1, 2011

Illusion's Void

You can act like you have no fear,
But I know you know the end is near.
You're being tested, that's a fact,
But at this rate, there's no going back.
In your mind you may have passed,
Just as visible as gas
You lost your name to play a game
In victory you tried to claim.

The world has levels, thin and deep,
But you were on a winning streak.
Letter sent to you in mail
Set up for a giant fail.
That end was in fact the end,
You lose, you lose, you lose again.
That end was in fact the end,
You lose, you lose, you lose again.

November 30, 2011

Brendan's Progress = Finished... for now

I did it. Just like I said I would. I fucking did it.

Thoughts about this some other time... I am fucking done with writing for the moment. lolololol

But remember... this story... this isn't over...

November 29, 2011

Brendan's Progress and the Final Stretch Part 4

I'm so close to the end I can smell it.

As of this post, I'm 44,120 words in. I have 5,880 left.

I also have work tomorrow.

I'm probably going to write again before the night is up. Maybe start at about 11pm and finish before midnight, clock those words in to see where I stand (which will done here in an edit sometime around midnight) and I may write some more after midnight...

Because I have work in the morning... -_-

I think that having work in the morning, however, will be better for trying to finish up this goal as opposed to having work in the afternoon and evening... I can't quite put my finger on why though... I guess because... oh whatever, it's just a better way to finish it off.

But yeah. I'm there. The end is near. Now obviously, this could be words written towards the book, but fuck. I need breaks and stuff. My brain is sizzling from all this writing, I swear.

Like, I definitely took much longer breaks than I should have today. I had a plan to write at least 1000 words every hour on the hour from 2pm up to whenever, but I was playing video games and watching videos. It's been rough, but I'm getting these words done. Hopefully, I'll have at least 45,000 done by midnight, and then maybe squeeze out another 1000 or so after midnight before I go to sleep. I feel like I need to crunch out as many words as I can so that after work, it will be relatively easy to coast to the finish line.

But yeah. The end is near. I can smell.

Then maybe I can work on this novel in a regular, sane manner... Shit.

Edit: (1:11am) 46,022 words. Approximately 4,000 words left. Oh fucking boy. This could potentially be a photo finish, but I'm definitely going in today. Gonna bust off a couple hundred words on phone at work, then I'm a finish strong when I get home.

I am going to Win NaNoWriMo.

November 28, 2011

Brendan's Progress and the Final Stretch Part 3

As of this very post, I'm at 40,135 words. I have 9,865 words left to write in a matter of two days.

I'll probably still write a little bit more before this day over. I may even write a little more after midnight, and have it count for "tomorrow" and whatnot.

But I'm getting there. I can see the light. I brought my remaining word count down to below 10k. This is very, very doable at this point.

And I still got the fire to write it too. It's not like I'm struggling to come up with stuff. Granted, this is heading in a direction I kinda sorta didn't exactly imagine it to go... mostly within the specific details of where it went at this point, as opposed to where it is a whole... oh, my mind, what a wonderful piece of work.

But this is what happens when you improvise a novel from scratch. I have plenty of general ideas, but I have no idea how this is going to come out in the end. I do know that when it's all said and done, the final product is going to be ridiculously amazing.

But I still don't think I write literature. Naaah, literature is for those who give a shit.

This entire novel seems to be based on not giving a shit. Or rather, the entire way I'm writing this novel is based on not giving a shit.

Tuesday the 29th and Wednesday the 30th remain. Tomorrow is my final day off from work, and Wednesday, I do in fact work. But if it's not too busy, best believe I'm cheating and going to get more than a few words done via my phone....

So yeah. 40,135 words written. 9,865 words left to write. Enough of this day is left to knock out maybe 500-1000 more words, and maybe tomorrow, if I'm really, really ridiculous enough and insane enough, I'll knock the entire remainder out...

That actually sounds like something to aim for...

November 27, 2011

Brendan's Progress and the Final Stretch Part 2

Well... NaNoWriMo is almost complete... there's like three days of writing left... Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

I fucking got this.

I made some baller ass gain today... 6275 words today.

I even managed to throw in a sex scene.

Sex scenes... I find an interesting difficulty in writing sex scenes... but I'm going to leave it up to your imagination to figure out what that difficulty is.

Right now, I'm at 36,715 words. I have 13,285 words remaining.

I am totally going to hit this goal. Procrastination for the win.

November 26, 2011

Brendan's Progress and the Final Stretch

So NaNoWriMo is almost over. Today is the 26th of November, and this ends on the 30th.

As of this posting, I have 30,440 words. And I'm on my way to work now (*insert vintage Marko Man rage here*) so I'm done writing for the day.

I do have the next three days off. That's Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. With about 20,000 more words to write, I have to make ENORMOUS gains on those three days because Wednesday, I'm back at work. At least it will be in the morning, so I can come home and try to finish whatever I didn't finish, but still... I need to make the next three days count hardbody.

Like, I seriously need 3 consecutive 6000 word days, minimum, for me to feel like this can be done.

And it can be done.

So where exactly is Brendan right now? At the airport, duh.

And I'm making a total mess of the place. :-)

And I'm not even done fucking the place up yet...

And my mind came up with yet another plot twist. And I'm sure that my mind will have another plot twist in store as well.

Of course, remember, the end of November does not mean the end of the book. Nope, I'm nowhere near done with the first third of this book (as far as my mind can see it as of right now). There's still a ton of crazy shit to just throw into this book, and it's going to be amazing, at worst.

But right now, I need to just focus on that 50000 word goal. I even deactivated my FaceBook.

Yes. This is Serious Business.

November 22, 2011


A part of me is corrupt, a part of me is pissed,
A part of me doesn't wanna be corrupt in this bitch.
The way this world works doesn't give me a choice,
So I express myself in violence since I have no voice.
You can't fight a good fight when you're fighting an asshole,
You can't get the truth for free without a golden lasso.
I have me some dirty money, grenades, and bullets.
I'm just the trap of a trigger, they're the ones that pull it.
You claim to be a hero, but open your eyes,
You're applying pain too, but use peace as a disguise.
If everything was peaceful we wouldn't be here,
Humans cause the chaos, that's why we always see fear.
You say you fight for justice based on what you've seen,
Get the dirt out of your eyes and learn what justice really means.
The real knows that I'm touchin on deep stuff.
After blood comes peace and I ain't even spill enough.

November 19, 2011


Yes... Yes...
Let's all come face to face with our dreams, and then wake up.
Allow reality to wear you out, putting you to sleep.
Then dream, repeating the cycle all over again.

November 16, 2011

Song of the Day!


So... have you ever been walking somewhere or going somewhere or maybe going nowhere at all and you got music playing someway, somehow, maybe through an iPod, an mp3 player, or a radio, and suddenly this one song comes on and it changes your entire mood? You were all stable an inanimate one moment, then this song comes on, and BOOM! You're an insane dancing mess... you're driving and suddenly you can't even drive right cause this song is playing, or you're walking and suddenly you start walking to the beat and dancing in your walk, or you were perfectly still and stable and inanimate and suddenly you bust out in a private, spontaneous performance?

Enter "Atomic Dog" by George Clinton.

I'm going through my mp3 player, playing the songs, deleting the ones I don't want anymore and keeping the ones that I do.

And this comes on. Suddenly, I bust out in dancing in my walk, and when I stop walking, I can't even stop dancing, hitting some nasty steps. I forget how hilariously good I can move sometimes.

Anyway, for that, this is the Song of the Day.

Atomic Dog
I need to get at some more funk...

Oh... that's disco... hmmm.... HELP!!!

November 15, 2011

More of Brendan's Progress, Lost Adventures in December, and Other Stuff

More of Brendan's Progress

On Sunday, I was able to throw down 5,002 words. Awesome.
But then I wasn't able to write anything on Monday because I was in Philly again. ^_^
Today, after I finish posting this, I'll get back to writing and possibly catch up with whatever number of words I should be at.

The last thing that I did with Brendan was throw him into the mansion of a drug lord, and I randomly threw him into a fight that has nothing to do with the goal in that mansion. If this novel has any more randomness like that, this is never going to get finished.

Good. ^_^

I just realized that today is the half way point, and I don't think I have 20,000 words. Obviously, having 25,000  words on the 15th of a 30 day month with a goal of 50,000 words would be nice.

But then again, this week, the suggestion was to ignore the word count and just write.

That advice got me 5,002 words that day.

Well... I'm going to see what I can do and I'm going to write. I'm gonna try to finish the whole thing with the drug lord, because once that's finished...


Lost Adventures in December

So I had been mentioning "The Lost Adventures of Mark Wins" for quite a while now, and yet, I haven't posted a single Lost Adventure.

No, I didn't forget. I've just been slightly busy and/or relatively lazy.

In December, you'll get all 3.5 adventures (because my recent visit to Philly may or may not be considered an adventure., but I'm not going to write about today regardless because of NaNoWriMo)

Whatever Happened to Videos and Songs of the Day?

More laziness.
And you can blame all of that laziness on work aka Murphy's Realm aka (the newest name) Infinite Loop. Enjoy!

Thing is, it really doesn't take much to do a song or video of the day, especially when I'm still watching YouTube and listening to music on a pretty regular basis. But dat job tho...

Other things to come...


  • An Analysis of Crisis City in Sonic Generations
  • Classic Sonic vs. Modern Sonic
  • Probably a Ultimate MvC3 review since I do want to see if Captain America makes that game worth my playing
  • The reason "Infinite Loop. Enjoy!" became the new name for my job.
  • The announcement of some Self-Published material.
  • and more...
For now... time to get back to the writing.... of the novel, that is.

November 11, 2011

Obama and the Troops

In mid-October, Barrack Obama has said that the War in Iraq was done and that he's bringing the troop home.

Now, say what you want about what Obama may or may not have done during his term as President, but since I work in an airport, I can totally confirm that I have seen more soldiers returning home in the past few weeks than I have since I first started working there in June. 

Realize that I only work in one terminal in one airport in the US for (approximately) 8 hours a shift, and most of those 8 hours have me either in a restaurant or a dish room, so in the end, I only see but so much. But I have definitely been seeing at least three to four soldiers a week in a four to five day work week.

In other words, after years of a war that we probably didn't even need to enter (because... you know, the guy that took down our towers was in Afghanistan), our soldiers are finally, and definitely, coming home.

I know for some of us, it's a bit too late. I know that for some of us, late is not better than never because the war already took he or she whom was very precious to us already. 

Personally, I haven't lost anyone to the war, but I know friends who have lost friends in the war. Conspiracy theories aside, I think that those sacrifices have not gone in vain.

In any event, in some shape or form, this is a victory. And I just wanted to let you know that if there is one thing that Obama is doing right, he's definitely bringing our troops home.

Happy Veterans Day!

November 9, 2011

Man on the Move

To heaven, or to hell?
He walks the gray area,
Or maybe a fine line.
The meanest of the mean
Because he could not be nice.

And yet, he maintains this personal,
For reasons, he refuses to explore.
A heroic badass.
A justified criminal.
Vigilante with his own law...

Was he treated unfairly?
Or did he begin the cycle?
They say that the human
Can only learn corruption...

But some are born with it.
Some are born of it.
Some are born about it.
Some are born throughout it.
But who is born without it?

Really though... humans.
Just another animal.
Classify what they want,
They may know the science,
But they defy no science.

Everything is predictable.
Even the unpredictable.
Unpredictable in pattern
Creates unknown knowns
That can be exploited.

This man... he is no different.
Try as he may,
Fight as he must,
He cannot resist
His divine inner workings.

And he will continue to damage.
And he will continue to destroy.
And he will continue to depress.
Until the end, where it all runs out,
And he can continue, no more.

November 7, 2011

Brendan's Progress, X-Men vs. Street Fighter, and Sonic Generations Music

Brendan's Progress (aka the NaNoWriMo part)

So as of time of this post, I've got 9297 words complete.

It's still a bit slow, as I don't exactly have this story where I want it yet, and I think between a combination of actually attempting some kind of character development and overall bullshitting, there's a legit explanation of why I'm not wholly excited over what I'm currently writing.

That just means that I'm not being over the top enough. Which makes sense. Other than a few bits here and there, this has been a rather ho-hum experience.

But what's keeping me going, maybe more so than the desire to actually hit the 50,000 word mark by the end of the month, is the knowledge of exactly where this novel is going. There are certain events of this story that I've gone over a ridiculous number of times in my head, especially while I'm at work, and the more I think about it, the more ridiculous I make it, and... well, it's going to be ridiculous. That's all I can say. Like, there's going to be this huge turning point in the story that makes no sense before we get to yet another turning point in the story that makes no sense, but it'll all tie together somehow because I think that I actually have a goal for the character that is Brendan. I've made him into something, and I think I may be trying a little too hard to establish to the reader what I've made him as, and throughout the course of the book, he's going to do some amazing things....

I just wish the beginning of this didn't suck so bad. But I just gotta press on. I can edit shit to be better or out completely when it's all said and done, but for now... just keep on pressing.

This is definitely a masterpiece in the making.

X-Men vs. Street Fighter

You know how you get bored one day and you decide to try something new?
Or, better for this particular piece of the blog, you get bored and you try to explore something that you dabbled in for a bit but finally decided, with nothing else to, to actually try to immerse yourself into a new experience with that dabbling?
Even better for this part... ever had access to a video game and played it for a bit, but set it to the side, and then randomly decided to give it a deeper, truer shot?

This is what happened with X-Men vs. Street Fighter. This game was on my computer, mostly to watch some epic battles between top players on GGPO. Randomly, however, I decided that I wanted to play it and actually try to get good at it (or at least as good at it as I am in Marvel vs. Capcom 1).

And man, this game is really fucking intense.
And man, this game is much better than Marvel vs. Capcom 3.

Like, I'm playing this game, right? And I'm currently getting an interesting feel for Cyclops. And his combos are pretty cool, but require some interesting timing. And then combined with the rules within the system of the game, PLUS SIX ATTACK BUTTONS (that's 2.5 more attack buttons than MvC3 has), you can actually show some kind of creativity in your combo. And that creativity can lead to mad mix-ups. And those mad mix-ups can lead to you losing 100% of your life for free before you even know what happened. No X-Factor needed.

And I think that's what's really satisfying about this game... being able to pull off combos that do a shit turd of damage with your own hands, not some bullshit embedded in the game. X-Men vs. Street Fighter has rules in its game system that try to keep infinite combos out, but all it does is add to your creativity, figuring out what moves have what properties, and using those properties to either get around the rules or break them entirely.

And being able to learn this stuff is a wonderful, intense experience. Much more satisfying than any silly ass combo I ever learned in MvC3, especially when they're the only real combos that make more sense to use.

Sonic Generations Music... so fucking amazing.

As it stands right now...
Here's my Top 5

5) Crisis City

4) Toxic Caves

3) Stardust Speedway

2) Vs. Shadow

1) Open Your Heart remix

I can sit here and tell you that I haven't even heard everything, so this list is subject to change.

But I doubt it.

Wait a Second... What About Apex?

Yeah..... still haven't gotten around to practicing any type of Smash at all. Between work, and now NaNoWriMo and the desire to play Sonic Generations over anything, plus WWE '12 coming soon... I'm clearly going to lose every possible set if I don't go MetaKnight...

I might have to summon my inner douche and actually play MetaKnight to get a win, too.

Also, Apex 2012 now has Super Street Fighter 4: Arcade Edition (with that new patch) and Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 on deck. Now... hmm, I don't think I made that post about SSF4:AE and how I had been playing the game on the low and how I don't think the game is that bad except that it's simply not SSF2:Turbo and thus I find it really slow these days, but yeah. That's kinda the reason why I'm not entering that.

But Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3... well, I may actually play that game a bit more regularly than I did its vanilla counterpart...
It solely depends on how Captain America feels when I play him. I read some of his changes... between getting his double jump back and getting his Shield Slash to OTG again, he just might feel like good ol' CapUSA from the MvC1 days.

And that's where the fun begins... Cap, Zero, Strider, anyone?

I may throw Vergil in there somewhere though... or Dormammu... I've been fucking with his firestorm shit... it's too funny to see 36 random hits come from changing the color of my hands.

All of those characters would have much more fun gameplay if they were in XvSF's system...

Divine Wound

Make this stop.
Make this end.
Forget your flaws,
You're the perfect candidate for this.
Heed my warnings,
Read my message.
Have your date with destiny,
And end this.

November 1, 2011

My Final Verdict on Sonic Generations

So the game came out today.

I played. Got pretty close to beat it, but due to time constraints, couldn't quite beat it. Only thing left to see theoretically is two bosses.

That said, I think I played enough of the game to review it.

This game is beautiful. I was playing and watching Crisis City go by and it almost made me wanna play Sonic '06. Almost. Planet Wisp looks amazing too... that whole Wii vs. HD stuff makes a difference.

There are a few cases where I feel like Classic Sonic levels shouldn't be so detailed because I seriously saw a platform just float from foreground into the background (fuck you Crisis City). Otherwise, it's sick. As in awesome.

The music already makes this game 5 times better than it had to be... aside from the modern City Escape remix. I still think that the original City Escape is infinitely superior to any version in Sonic Generations, but maybe you like them, and they aren't bad. Just preference.

And then you have situations where you win music from doing certain challenges, finding a certain amount of red rings, and other stuff. And then you have situations where you can choose to play certain music for certain challenges. That makes the game 10 times better on top of the 5 times better than it had to be. For some reason, I was blasting the Toxic Caves Remix to any rival battle and doppelganger race. I'm sure that the more music you crack open, the more fantastic personal choices you can make for any given challenge.

And the sound effects... all your classic stuff is all there.

I have a minor issue with the controls...
1) Classic Sonic's jump feels like it's too low to me... like Classic Knuckles' jump or something.
2) There are times where I try to homing attack with Modern Sonic, and it just doesn't come out.

I feel like issue 1 is definitely design based. While there aren't any places that can't be passed due to Classic Sonic's lower feeling jump, I do kind of find it a pain.
Issue 2 is probably all my fault. lol.

Otherwise. There doesn't seem to be much of an issue with the controls... Oh yeah... drifting? Fuck drifting. Then learn how to drift. Then be amazed at how drifting works.

I still stand by my statement that the game is too short. I also stand by my statement that there are levels that should have made the cut. But damn it if they didn't pad it as much as possible.

You have 3 eras, 3 levels per era, and 2 acts per era. That's 18 acts. Each act has 5 challenges, so that's virtually 90 levels or something like that. Technically, you should have to only play, like, 18 acts, but the game is such that after you complete each era (or 6 acts), you gotta do 3 more challenges before moving on to the boss... so it's like 9 acts, and then a boss. And that doesn't include what is probably the mandatory Rival Battles that have fake hedgehogs just chilling.

Whatever the case may be, Sega extended the hell out of the few levels that they had in the game.

As far as the game itself is concerned... it's plenty of fun. And it's not quite the easy quest that Sonic Colors was... these levels do get rather challenging towards the end... or towards Sky Sanctuary depending on how fast you think you should be able to go as Sonic the Hedgehog.

These levels, however, are huge. Instead of the micro levels that Sonic Colors had, they just gave us Huge levels in Sonic Generations. Eventually, you'll look at the time and be glad that the 10 minute time limit doesn't exist. Seriously. Some of these levels are one hell of a quest on their own.

And then you have the challenges. Some of them are easy, some of them are ridiculous, but all of them seem pretty cool. And of course, everything is ranked. They start at D, and end in S. And some of those S ranks are harder than they come off... I would know.

This game is plenty of fun. I still think it's too short, and I still think that there should have been more levels. Hell, if Tails can be like how he didn't remember Green Hill but found Chemical Plant very familiar by its smell, I see no reason why there couldn't have been a Carnival Nigh reference.

That said, I don't think Sega was lazy with this game like I first believed. They definitely put in a lot of work into this package, and levels that should have made the cut aside, this is a very complete package.

If you're a Sonic fan of any kind, you should definitely check this game out. It's incredible by all kinds of gaming standards.

some extra notes:

  • Seriously though. The best part of this game has got to be the music.
  • And my favorite level is Speed Highway.
  • Silver has gained my respect... that Rival Battle...
  • But why all the bosses so weak though? Four hits?
  • Shadow, however, proved to be the worthiest opponent in my opinion... like, you gotta beat rings out of him and whatnot lolol.

October 28, 2011

November 1st is Going to be Intense...


Well, two things:

1) Sonic Generations is being released.
2) NaNoWriMo begins!

So with Sonic Generations being released, it's pretty much a given that it's going to be played and beaten in a day, just like Sonic Colors was. Well, most of you actually have no idea that Sonic Colors was beaten in a day, but yeah. I'm relatively sure that this game is going to be shorter than Sonic Colors, but it will be awesome regardless.

I'm also going to have to throw up a review of the game. I can already see it now... Game's awesome, but shit. It's too short.

And then there's NaNoWriMo. The beginning of a quest to write a book containing 50,000 words. That means about 1,700 words a day. And I have a feeling that this first day is going to have an intense chapter or two to start off, because I'm pretty much just going to go off and allow my many frustrations of work and otherwise let loose...

It's going to be awesome.

I see great things for this day. Great things.

This One Dream I Had...

Okay... so let me see if I can accurately recall this crazy ass dream that I had...

I was fighting Vegeta, then there was something about the universe about to swallow itself. So for whatever reason, I "ended" the fight by Mega Punching Vegeta in the temple (but you know, it didn't really knock him down for too long, with him being a Super Saiyan and all) and then I flew off to see if I could stop the universe from swallowing itself.

Sure enough, there was some kind of enemy that was trying to swallow the universe whole, and somehow, with the help of Jacko, Kevin, Nicole, and Katalina(that is a relatively interesting combination of heroes to form a team with), we kill the guy, but he's like its too late because even a dead version of him will swallow the universe. And his dead body almost did swallow the universe, but it seemed to have reversed itself at the last second... like, I had almost gotten swallowed up, but then just as I stopped breathing, the swallowing stopped and I was able to live.

A few hours pass in dream time and Kevin calls me telling me that the universe swallowing guy is still alive, bothering my little brother Justin and what not. So I fly over to where they're at, and Justin's trying to fight the guy, but he's getting his ass beat. Kevin tries to fight him too, but he gets his ass beat, and then I get mad. So I fight him, but I'm on defense, because this guy is ruthless. He leaves himself open at one point, and I take advantage by punching him in the nuts. After that, I go vintage Marko Man and totally annihilate the guy with a 500+ hit combo.

Unfortunately, there's this giant meteor coming to annihilate the planet (because obviously someone is mad that we survived the universe swallowing), so Jacko summons Justin Scott, who is a completely different beast from my little brother, and he uses his ultimate psychic powers to hold the meteor off while I get some random NASA guys or something to fly into space and destroy the thing.

The destruction of the meteor, however, sends nice little rocks into plenty of graveyards and begins a Zombie Apocalypse. We didn't know it started the Zombie Apocalypse at first, but it did reanimate my father in a relatively healthy form, which I found mind blowing. First thing we did was reunite him with my mom and brothers, and then I was like how I needed to introduce her to Sally, who was dying to meet him... well not dying, because she was alive and... well, whatever. However, the trip to Philly gets cut short because the Zombie Apocalypse begins and we gotta fight zombies and whatnot.

Of course, killing that which is already dead is never an easy task, so we're out here, failing miserably to defeat these things. That's when my father's like he'll stay and fight these things while I gather up some hero friends. This sounds like an amazing plan, except I suddenly can't find anyone. And I'm fighting Zombies, trying to figure out where these people are at.

Eventually, I get tired, and the zombies get closer and closer to killing me until one zombie decides that I could be "useful" in the quest to be loved...

And I'm thinking to myself... "Loved? What?!"

The zombie explains to me that their bodies were not loved either by the people who held them (which explained the fat bastard zombie and the zombie with a whole lot of scars on their wrist) or was not loved by the people around them (which explained stab wounds, bullet holes, and missing arms). And that's when I realized that none of these zombies were... "normal," if that makes any sense. They all look like they died via some kind of physical, bodily damage, as opposed to sickness or dying in their sleep. And all they wanted was to be loved.

And apparently, they were holding my friends hostage because of the love I have for them. And they said that I could get them back in single pieces if I could figure out how their bodies could receive the same love that I had given my friends.

Unfortunately, I had no idea I was going to be able to pull that off.

And then I woke up. I guess my subconscious came up with a simple solution to save everyone... wake the fuck up.

I guess the moral of the story is... I Love You Guys. ♥

And not just the people mentioned here... I Love You All.

Additionally, I get the feeling that I had a dream similar to this before...

October 22, 2011

The Adventures of Mark Wins #7: A Night of Life and Death

I had a choice last night.

Go out and party with some friends.
Or play Streets of Rage.

I chose to go out last night.

Big mistake.

I was out with my friends Chris and his girlfriend Valerie, Eddie, and Krystal. It's been a while since we all hung out together, so this was pretty cool in theory.

We all met up on the Ave. (Jamaica Avenue) and we took the F train to find this place called the "R Bar," which Krystal had heard was a pretty cool place and whatnot.

That was a fucking lie... okay, not really, actually, but it just wasn't what we were looking for.

See, we were kinda looking for a kind of party where you can pretty much dance with anyone you like and, at the same time, be safe as possible. For whatever reason, we've all come to figure out that those two party traits (dancing with whomever and maximum safety) do not go hand in hand anymore. Obviously, this is just a theory, but it's been pretty difficult to disprove it.

Anyway, we get to R Bar, and we get in with no problem. We slip inside and we hear the music... not that bad,  but not that good, but actually, kinda better than some other shit that could have been possible, so I have no grudges against it. But everyone was white.

Now, this wouldn't be a problem... but they can't dance. No fucking rhythm whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, I'm no James Brown, but... even if I wanted to dance with these chicks that were there, hell no.

Funny thing is, I didn't even notice it at first... I had to use the bathroom, so I did. When I came back, Krystal and Eddie already had a drink while Chris and Valerie were dancing, and Krystal nudges me to show me these white chicks that were dancing horribly. And she could not stop laughing. She had been extra bubbly even before we got on the train, so it was clear to me that she had pre-gamed herself for the night. But she was dying of laughter while Eddie and I had this "are you fucking serious?" expression on our face.

Chris came up to us and was like this clearly isn't going to get any better. So we left.

Now we're out here in the middle of Manhattan wondering what to do. That's when I remember something about a place called Hype Lounge and it being free to get in tonight. I look up the place on my phone and it's a significantly easy walk away from where we were, so start to hoof it.

On our way there, we almost died. Twice.

The first time we almost died was when this obviously drunk driver decided that he didn't like driving on the street anymore, so he ran upside the curve and hit a street light. The crazy thing is that I felt that 4 out of 5 people on the road that night either didn't know how to drive and/or was intoxicated, so I was kinda wary about this, and I pretty much pulled us all out the way when the idiot hit the street light. And we were all kinda traumatized... except Krystal's bubbly ass. She was laughing her ass off.

So we move on because we don't want to be bother with cops and police reports on one of the rare nights we can actually hang like this, and we end up trying two other clubs before we get to Hype. The first one was called Urge, and it was wack. The second one didn't have a name, but when we went inside, it smelled of crystal meth. Now, I don't know it crystal meth has a particular smell, but if it does, my guess would be that it smelled something similar to what it smelled like in this unmarked club/lounge/drug house.

And the entering of that place is pretty much the second near death experience, because there's no telling what might have happened had we actually stayed.

We left that place, we walk, and we finally get to Hype... where we were denied access because of the dress code.

It didn't even occur to us that a dress code could keep us out of a place like that. We all pretty much had jeans, sneakers, non-collared shirts, and hoodies. But apparently, we weren't dressed to party. I... didn't even know that, but whatever.

Of course, Krystal's laughing at the bouncer that kept us out, talking all types of shit to this guy about both him and this Hype lounge. It wasn't funny until Eddie 1) insisted that we stay and let her finish and 2) Eddie continued to egg her on with the word "And", which led to her really going off. Like, she would say something, Eddie would say "Annnnnnnnnnd...?" and she's say something else. Then Eddie would say "Annnnnnnnnnnnnd...?" and she's say something else. We were dead ass there for at least five minutes until she seriously ran out of stuff to say... too funny.

So at this point, we have a choice... go home, or find something to do. Obviously, we should have just went home, but Krystal was like, "Fuck that yo. We came out here to have a good time and damnit we're gonna have a good time! We're gonna find something to get into and we're going to get into it! Let's go to Times Square!"

Super random destination is super random. I had no problem with walking, and neither did Valerie, but Chris and Eddie didn't like the idea, but they were kinda outnumbered, so we ended up walking to Times Square. On our way there, we damn near died again because some asshole decided that he wanted to run a red light. Fortunately, I saw that one coming too, so we stopped accordingly.

On our way there, we end up seeing three clubs/lounges/drug houses: The Hurricane Club, Club Ultra, and Pulse. We didn't even bother trying to get in because 1) The Hurricane Club looked like it had a $100 cover charge to get it, 2) Club Ultra looked wack as shit although Chris swore he heard of it before but wasn't exactly sure why and 3) Pulse was obviously not our type of crowd, complete with plenty of Asians. It also looked like it had crystal meth in it.

We get to Times Square. And nothing happens. So at this point, we decide to go home.

We look for a train station, and we find a NQR1237 station that tells us to go to 8th Ave. to enter for the ACE... and we kinda needed to be on the E.

So we walk to 8th Ave, and we see the subway station, but not before Eddie sees a Adult DVD store and strip club next to it. Krystal and Valerie want to go into the porn shop, so we go in. They're having a ball, laughing at the videos, the costumes, the lingerie, and everything, making a complete mockery out of the place by pretending to try some of the stuff on and mocking the positions that they see on the DVD covers. At one point, Krystal was on the ground, mocking some legs up in the air position, and at this point, it was clear that we needed to leave.

So we leave, and Eddie wants to go into the strip club, where my wallet bleeds. It's a $20 cover charge, plus one drink minimum .Minimum drink cost? $10. $30 gone and I ain't even wanna be in there.

Krystal wants a lap dance, Valerie wants a lap dance and insists that Chris gets one but Chris didn't want on. Eddie got, like 3 lap dances Apparently, this nigga is ballin' heavy tonight. I didn't even have enough money to pay for a fucking lap dance, so Eddie picks one out for me and insists that she gives me a lap dance while Krystal and Valerie hold my arms. After four songs, this psuedo-fetish lap dance comes to a mandatory end. Obvious highlight of my night.

We leave, we get on the train, we're tired, mostly silent and half sleep. I have no money for a cab, but this ballin' ass nigga Eddie offers to pay for mine ride home. I'm cool with it... until we get to a stop that has an F train chillin right there. I tell Eddie, "yo I'm a just take the 111 to save you money and shit," and he's like "iight cool."

So I transfer to the F, thinking that the F is gonna take a year to get to the Q111 stop and I'll be there just in time.

Big mistake.

This was the fastest F ever. Got to the stop and I had a 30 minute wait ahead of me. Whatever. It wasn't that cold, so it wasn't that big of a deal to me.

And this is where I almost die a fourth time.

So I'm out there, waiting on the bus. And some random guy comes up to me asking for money. I tell him I ain't got any. (I had a little bit, but fuck. I already spent more than I bargained for.) Big mistake, I should have just given him a little bit or whatever, cause this guy... well, he looked like he was kinda pissed about me not giving him any money.

He comes back after trying to talk to some girl, and he starts to talk to me about girls and shit. Okay, that's cool and all.

And then he says he's gonna take a walk and be right back.

Ummmm... excuse me?

Now my mind is like, "This guy is obviously going to come back and murk me. Nuh uh, not today."

So I book it down some street just as he leaves visual distance and I get to Sutphin Blvd. I'm not necessarily scared for my life or anything, but in my current state, I was not trying to deal with life and death situations on the spot. So I had to come up with a plan to get home...

The original plan was to take the airtrain to get to the Q3 to transfer to the Q111 or something like that. Then I came up with a plan to just wait it out and maybe he'd be home by the time I decided to just hop on the Q111. And then I realized that maybe I had enough money to take the LIRR home.

I had just enough money to take the LIRR home. So I took the LIRR home.

On my way home, I got stopped by the cops for the first time ever in my life because I ran across a street in hopes of not getting ran over even though I had the right of way. Cop car rolls up on me and he's like "Why were you running?" And I explain to him my night of life and death experiences and how I shoulda just stayed home and how I think this guy was trying to kill me over a dollar and I might have thrown in some more stuff, but... well, at this point, I just wanted to go home. He asked me where I lived and I was like 8 blocks down, and he let me rock.

And then I got home.

So in summary, I wasted $40+ dollars, had an adventure that was only slightly better than the destination, had 4 near death experiences, and got stopped by the cops for the first time ever in life.

When I got home, I thought to myself...

I should have just played Streets of Rage.

October 19, 2011

I Wanna

I wanna go away.
And take you with me.
Escape to a fantastic place.

But all the rules of reality
Says that this escape
Is impossible.

I wanna break the rules.
And break your mindset.
And show you something new.

But logic mindsets are strong.
And old habits, hard to break.
However can we escape?

I wanna leave this.
And hold you hand.
And never let go.

But choices are hard.
I can only choose one.
The new, or you.

I wanna choose both.
Exert my inner greed
And the six other sins.

But greed gets you nowhere.
Lust should be avoided.
Sin sends to hell.

I wanna be with you.
I wanna better life.
I wanna do me.

But you know what?
The only thing
That stands in the way...

Is me.