October 22, 2011

The Adventures of Mark Wins #7: A Night of Life and Death

I had a choice last night.

Go out and party with some friends.
Or play Streets of Rage.

I chose to go out last night.

Big mistake.

I was out with my friends Chris and his girlfriend Valerie, Eddie, and Krystal. It's been a while since we all hung out together, so this was pretty cool in theory.

We all met up on the Ave. (Jamaica Avenue) and we took the F train to find this place called the "R Bar," which Krystal had heard was a pretty cool place and whatnot.

That was a fucking lie... okay, not really, actually, but it just wasn't what we were looking for.

See, we were kinda looking for a kind of party where you can pretty much dance with anyone you like and, at the same time, be safe as possible. For whatever reason, we've all come to figure out that those two party traits (dancing with whomever and maximum safety) do not go hand in hand anymore. Obviously, this is just a theory, but it's been pretty difficult to disprove it.

Anyway, we get to R Bar, and we get in with no problem. We slip inside and we hear the music... not that bad,  but not that good, but actually, kinda better than some other shit that could have been possible, so I have no grudges against it. But everyone was white.

Now, this wouldn't be a problem... but they can't dance. No fucking rhythm whatsoever. Don't get me wrong, I'm no James Brown, but... even if I wanted to dance with these chicks that were there, hell no.

Funny thing is, I didn't even notice it at first... I had to use the bathroom, so I did. When I came back, Krystal and Eddie already had a drink while Chris and Valerie were dancing, and Krystal nudges me to show me these white chicks that were dancing horribly. And she could not stop laughing. She had been extra bubbly even before we got on the train, so it was clear to me that she had pre-gamed herself for the night. But she was dying of laughter while Eddie and I had this "are you fucking serious?" expression on our face.

Chris came up to us and was like this clearly isn't going to get any better. So we left.

Now we're out here in the middle of Manhattan wondering what to do. That's when I remember something about a place called Hype Lounge and it being free to get in tonight. I look up the place on my phone and it's a significantly easy walk away from where we were, so start to hoof it.

On our way there, we almost died. Twice.

The first time we almost died was when this obviously drunk driver decided that he didn't like driving on the street anymore, so he ran upside the curve and hit a street light. The crazy thing is that I felt that 4 out of 5 people on the road that night either didn't know how to drive and/or was intoxicated, so I was kinda wary about this, and I pretty much pulled us all out the way when the idiot hit the street light. And we were all kinda traumatized... except Krystal's bubbly ass. She was laughing her ass off.

So we move on because we don't want to be bother with cops and police reports on one of the rare nights we can actually hang like this, and we end up trying two other clubs before we get to Hype. The first one was called Urge, and it was wack. The second one didn't have a name, but when we went inside, it smelled of crystal meth. Now, I don't know it crystal meth has a particular smell, but if it does, my guess would be that it smelled something similar to what it smelled like in this unmarked club/lounge/drug house.

And the entering of that place is pretty much the second near death experience, because there's no telling what might have happened had we actually stayed.

We left that place, we walk, and we finally get to Hype... where we were denied access because of the dress code.

It didn't even occur to us that a dress code could keep us out of a place like that. We all pretty much had jeans, sneakers, non-collared shirts, and hoodies. But apparently, we weren't dressed to party. I... didn't even know that, but whatever.

Of course, Krystal's laughing at the bouncer that kept us out, talking all types of shit to this guy about both him and this Hype lounge. It wasn't funny until Eddie 1) insisted that we stay and let her finish and 2) Eddie continued to egg her on with the word "And", which led to her really going off. Like, she would say something, Eddie would say "Annnnnnnnnnd...?" and she's say something else. Then Eddie would say "Annnnnnnnnnnnnd...?" and she's say something else. We were dead ass there for at least five minutes until she seriously ran out of stuff to say... too funny.

So at this point, we have a choice... go home, or find something to do. Obviously, we should have just went home, but Krystal was like, "Fuck that yo. We came out here to have a good time and damnit we're gonna have a good time! We're gonna find something to get into and we're going to get into it! Let's go to Times Square!"

Super random destination is super random. I had no problem with walking, and neither did Valerie, but Chris and Eddie didn't like the idea, but they were kinda outnumbered, so we ended up walking to Times Square. On our way there, we damn near died again because some asshole decided that he wanted to run a red light. Fortunately, I saw that one coming too, so we stopped accordingly.

On our way there, we end up seeing three clubs/lounges/drug houses: The Hurricane Club, Club Ultra, and Pulse. We didn't even bother trying to get in because 1) The Hurricane Club looked like it had a $100 cover charge to get it, 2) Club Ultra looked wack as shit although Chris swore he heard of it before but wasn't exactly sure why and 3) Pulse was obviously not our type of crowd, complete with plenty of Asians. It also looked like it had crystal meth in it.

We get to Times Square. And nothing happens. So at this point, we decide to go home.

We look for a train station, and we find a NQR1237 station that tells us to go to 8th Ave. to enter for the ACE... and we kinda needed to be on the E.

So we walk to 8th Ave, and we see the subway station, but not before Eddie sees a Adult DVD store and strip club next to it. Krystal and Valerie want to go into the porn shop, so we go in. They're having a ball, laughing at the videos, the costumes, the lingerie, and everything, making a complete mockery out of the place by pretending to try some of the stuff on and mocking the positions that they see on the DVD covers. At one point, Krystal was on the ground, mocking some legs up in the air position, and at this point, it was clear that we needed to leave.

So we leave, and Eddie wants to go into the strip club, where my wallet bleeds. It's a $20 cover charge, plus one drink minimum .Minimum drink cost? $10. $30 gone and I ain't even wanna be in there.

Krystal wants a lap dance, Valerie wants a lap dance and insists that Chris gets one but Chris didn't want on. Eddie got, like 3 lap dances Apparently, this nigga is ballin' heavy tonight. I didn't even have enough money to pay for a fucking lap dance, so Eddie picks one out for me and insists that she gives me a lap dance while Krystal and Valerie hold my arms. After four songs, this psuedo-fetish lap dance comes to a mandatory end. Obvious highlight of my night.

We leave, we get on the train, we're tired, mostly silent and half sleep. I have no money for a cab, but this ballin' ass nigga Eddie offers to pay for mine ride home. I'm cool with it... until we get to a stop that has an F train chillin right there. I tell Eddie, "yo I'm a just take the 111 to save you money and shit," and he's like "iight cool."

So I transfer to the F, thinking that the F is gonna take a year to get to the Q111 stop and I'll be there just in time.

Big mistake.

This was the fastest F ever. Got to the stop and I had a 30 minute wait ahead of me. Whatever. It wasn't that cold, so it wasn't that big of a deal to me.

And this is where I almost die a fourth time.

So I'm out there, waiting on the bus. And some random guy comes up to me asking for money. I tell him I ain't got any. (I had a little bit, but fuck. I already spent more than I bargained for.) Big mistake, I should have just given him a little bit or whatever, cause this guy... well, he looked like he was kinda pissed about me not giving him any money.

He comes back after trying to talk to some girl, and he starts to talk to me about girls and shit. Okay, that's cool and all.

And then he says he's gonna take a walk and be right back.

Ummmm... excuse me?

Now my mind is like, "This guy is obviously going to come back and murk me. Nuh uh, not today."

So I book it down some street just as he leaves visual distance and I get to Sutphin Blvd. I'm not necessarily scared for my life or anything, but in my current state, I was not trying to deal with life and death situations on the spot. So I had to come up with a plan to get home...

The original plan was to take the airtrain to get to the Q3 to transfer to the Q111 or something like that. Then I came up with a plan to just wait it out and maybe he'd be home by the time I decided to just hop on the Q111. And then I realized that maybe I had enough money to take the LIRR home.

I had just enough money to take the LIRR home. So I took the LIRR home.

On my way home, I got stopped by the cops for the first time ever in my life because I ran across a street in hopes of not getting ran over even though I had the right of way. Cop car rolls up on me and he's like "Why were you running?" And I explain to him my night of life and death experiences and how I shoulda just stayed home and how I think this guy was trying to kill me over a dollar and I might have thrown in some more stuff, but... well, at this point, I just wanted to go home. He asked me where I lived and I was like 8 blocks down, and he let me rock.

And then I got home.

So in summary, I wasted $40+ dollars, had an adventure that was only slightly better than the destination, had 4 near death experiences, and got stopped by the cops for the first time ever in life.

When I got home, I thought to myself...

I should have just played Streets of Rage.

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